Patriarchal religion and sex

The patriarchal attitude to sex seems to have originated with men feeling a need to gain control over their emotions in order to be able to set goals and stick to them. The strongest emotions are, of course, sexual. Men feel that they must disavow these sexual emotions in order to be free to make their own decisions, apart from the control of women (who would, potentially, control men through sexuality). So men deny their own sexuality and project sex, as such, into women. But then, this seems like they have earned the bum end of the deal. They have deadened themselves and this doesn't feel good. So they reason that it should be women who deaden themselves, so that males can feel good. This is how women came to be both "the sex" and sexless, at the same time, while many men are unable to have a genuinely intimate relationship with a woman, but resort to pornography.