They are and they are not in pain, because by creating pain in others, they numb themselves. How does that happen? Apparently it is via the production of adrenaline. So long as they can get that flowing, they do not need to think about themselves and their pain is temporarily alleviated. But when that high runs low again, they need to seek another fix. I imagine there is a certain amount of pain involved in this lifestyle, then, especially as it becomes harder to get the hormonal or psychological high.
In the end it seems they are in pain, but that this is was a lifestyle choice. They had a problem with their life and the world and they could have chosen to talk it through with others or to read books and try to figure it out, but instead they chose to medicate themselves with other people’s emotions. They became grabby instead of thoughtful and deep.
And this is why education is so important as an antidote to narcissism, because if one can really figure out what is wrong with you, you do not need to become the equivalent of a psychological highway robber. And, additionally, this is surely why educators are constantly attacked by narcissists, because they cannot backtrack on their chosen solution to pain. But the educators keep reminding them that there’s another way.
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