CHAPTER 8: MY SHAMANIC JOURNEY

I knew great shame at having lost something great, like I'd personally misplaced it or something.  I still have that sensation, as if I had dropped it somewhere, gone to sleep and it had been a match and burned down my whole living quarters.  Except I hadn't been asleep.  Except I felt as if I had had.

There's no going to a therapist for these kinds of misplaced countries.   I had it here somewhere, I know I did.  It's a bit embarrassing, but also you can't find the words to cover it, really, because each time you draw the stitches of the weakend fabric over you, another part of you gets more exposed, like your behind.

Modernity caters in simple structures.  Like misplaced minds.  It doesn't bargain on larger geographical areas.

So the only way to make it cater was to act as if I were a geographical area.  I'm sorry, Sir, I lost my consciousness and dissassociated somewhat, on a plane trip, taking me here.  Before that, I had another mind and now I have this one.  I know that they are still the same and nothing's changed around here, therefore it must be my subjective impression or something.  I'd had whole geographic tracts to roam across but when I woke up these were gone.  Is there some way that you can get them back for me?  Perhaps hypnosis?

Coz nothing exists like the individual and the individual is no existence at all.  Or failure.

Sorry, I lost myself a bit there.

But I think it was the plane trip that confused the narrative of my story.  It divided my mind, for sure, for after that there was the past and there was the future, but there was no in-between. An essence that holds you fast, in order to maintain the link between the future and the past was gone.  I might have looked for it--it simply wasn't there.

So my mind slipped out at that point, I would fathom on the plane trip making its migratory circuit.   This would be impossible for modern minds to understand.

That the essence of me simply dropped out of me.

It was at a point in crossing from A to B.

That's when I lost touch with the geographical, historical and political region.  But to keep it simpler, for the sake of Moderns, I will say I LOST PART OF MY MIND.

So, after that I was in a dissociated state of mind, due to my plane trip, which had taken part of me and not replaced it with another part.

I mean my mind, which had been one mind was no longer a whole mind but two, with one part in one country and another in another.  But to keep it simpler, for modern minds, let's just say I had a lapse of concentration which occurred whilst I was travelling.

After that, I didn't remember the same geographical place anymore and even the setting and political structure had been altered.  But before that, everything had been largely consistent and easier to relate to.

So my mind must have dropped out at some point over the Indian Ocean.  Otherwise, I would be seeing two countries as being one and same.  But they still seemed different to me, so something strange must have occurred.

And probably it was the lack of focus.  I've never been noted for my attentiveness.  The pain of what is real is so intense in that I start to see all sorts of different continents and my mind swings to wild beliefs about a manner of assorted things and items.

One of which I happen to have lost.  I might have dropped it here, close by to me.  I am a klutz in that manner.

Oh, yes, here it is.

My mind apparently.  But once again (and only) from a limited perspective.

So I'd lost my mind and had to search for it again.  And thus began MY SHAMANIC JOURNEY.