That is all negative stuff, I suppose. The fun stuff is that I shamanized. And I will tell you why: People were trying to stamp out colonialism and that was me, and for a long time I was IT for them, but then suddenly I decided not to be IT but to be whatever I wanted. That is when the fun started. I put on special goggles and I could see everything in infra-red, so I could notice people even in the dark, if they were huddling together or planning some mischief, and then suddenly they couldn't see me, but I could see them and I went a-hunting.
Obviously, though, I was not an aggressive hunter, but an energy-depleted one. Since I was the main target and attraction, I learned to stand back and when people attacked, suddenly they were attacking each other. Or I allowed the protection I'd been rendering people by my implicit belief in the system to suddenly fall away. First they were upright and through it was all their doing, and suddenly they were down on the ground.
That's the stuff the spirits were teaching me. One can be a present object and be attacked or one can darken oneself and then see what happens.
Anyway, I still trusted people a lot but if I was in doubt I would darken myself, and then the fun would begin all over again.
People really, really, really had it in for colonialism, it seemed, and I was starting to realize, because the spirit guides were showing me, who or what colonialism really was:
People really, really had it in for themselves.
So, I stepped back a lot. And the spirits showed me that so long as I was unpredictable and didn't move in a straight line, I'd be okay. Because those intent on fighting their own internal demons tend to be predictable.
In any case, who they thought I was had never actually existed and all I was doing now was demonstrating this. I don't exist as you think I do. And neither am I sure in what manner I exist yet. I'll have to work it out in due course, as will you, but all of this takes time and time is what those living in a linear manner do not have. But I can step out of time. If one thing has become evident it is that I was never who you thought I was. I'm not your manifestation of Western colonialism. I am myself (whatever that is). I'm what I will be -- something that does not yet exist.
Battles and fighting. Somebody was instructing me from somewhere and I could hear each of the instructions about keeping calm and going into stealth in the very clearest way. It's like when your engine runs out of fuel but that is okay, because now you can fly.
Reality may be an illusion but people have their own demons to battle, and you can't get in the way.
Obviously, though, I was not an aggressive hunter, but an energy-depleted one. Since I was the main target and attraction, I learned to stand back and when people attacked, suddenly they were attacking each other. Or I allowed the protection I'd been rendering people by my implicit belief in the system to suddenly fall away. First they were upright and through it was all their doing, and suddenly they were down on the ground.
That's the stuff the spirits were teaching me. One can be a present object and be attacked or one can darken oneself and then see what happens.
Anyway, I still trusted people a lot but if I was in doubt I would darken myself, and then the fun would begin all over again.
People really, really, really had it in for colonialism, it seemed, and I was starting to realize, because the spirit guides were showing me, who or what colonialism really was:
People really, really had it in for themselves.
So, I stepped back a lot. And the spirits showed me that so long as I was unpredictable and didn't move in a straight line, I'd be okay. Because those intent on fighting their own internal demons tend to be predictable.
In any case, who they thought I was had never actually existed and all I was doing now was demonstrating this. I don't exist as you think I do. And neither am I sure in what manner I exist yet. I'll have to work it out in due course, as will you, but all of this takes time and time is what those living in a linear manner do not have. But I can step out of time. If one thing has become evident it is that I was never who you thought I was. I'm not your manifestation of Western colonialism. I am myself (whatever that is). I'm what I will be -- something that does not yet exist.
Battles and fighting. Somebody was instructing me from somewhere and I could hear each of the instructions about keeping calm and going into stealth in the very clearest way. It's like when your engine runs out of fuel but that is okay, because now you can fly.
Reality may be an illusion but people have their own demons to battle, and you can't get in the way.
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