Raising Boys | Clarissa's Blog

Raising Boys | Clarissa's Blog


I think there are more variables than parental relations in terms of accounting for career success or otherwise.   I think we overestimate the degree to which we can spy out and accurately label the correct determinants.  The 20th century ideal, as the culmination of the Enlightenment, was for everything to be predictably orderly.  A standardized person would be able to be measured in relation to standardized models for development.   The thing is, we never attained that hothouse flower fantasy, where we were able to regulate all inputs and measure all outputs for everyone.   It's very lucky that we missed that mark and continue to miss it.

A boy or a girl may react to certain aspects in the parent's character, which attract or repel.   If the parent is well-balanced and their own person, that is very helpful.  If not, that will probably create a bog for the child -- a kind of quicksand.

On the other hand, various experiences in life can work to suddenly extricate the child from certain types of quicksand.  Some can suddenly develop growth.  It all depends on what aspects have been missing from the past experiences and what they child needs to put himself together.

in all, we create ourselves out of the raw materials around us.  Some of these materials will be of high quality and others not so much so.  Children are very innovative if left to their own devices.  They figure things out and do what they can with what's available.