Sunday, 31 January 2016
Friday, 29 January 2016
Inheritance of generational trauma (my Rhodesian story) - YouTube
Inheritance of generational trauma (my Rhodesian story) - YouTube:
permaculturedesigner
It is always easier to side with the perpetrator. Join the winning team! Although I would say there is deeper neurological patterning attraction going on, not to say there is/is not institutionalization. What I mean by that is that people who have been trauma bonded somehow magnetically attract future NPDs/abusers. I am starting to think ideologies are an externality and that what is really going on is that reinforcement of one set of neural firings of one type of brain attracts a different set of reinforcements in a different brain.
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Jennifer Armstrong
+permaculturedesigner I wasn't trauma bonded. That is a mocern thing, where individualism holds sway. I was deeplyk, deeply repressed and somewhat schizoid from all of the abuse.
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Jennifer Armstrong
+permaculturedesigner My difficulty was that I didn't know the language of emotion, especially as it pertained to Western culture. In my former culture, if you needed some help for something you would speak to someone senior in authority, with a stiff upper lip )on both parts) and they would help you out. But the level of emotion I bought to my situation to try to get others' assistance was never right. I couldn't judge what was a convincint emotional level to indicate urgency and at the same time self-control. In any case, my project may have been defeated from the start, because of the ideology that I was already "privileged", set up for life by my supposedly lucky origins, and that it was everybody else, not me, who was struggling. It was very hard for me to get out of the schizoid state.
permaculturedesigner
It is always easier to side with the perpetrator. Join the winning team! Although I would say there is deeper neurological patterning attraction going on, not to say there is/is not institutionalization. What I mean by that is that people who have been trauma bonded somehow magnetically attract future NPDs/abusers. I am starting to think ideologies are an externality and that what is really going on is that reinforcement of one set of neural firings of one type of brain attracts a different set of reinforcements in a different brain.
Reply · 1
Jennifer Armstrong
+permaculturedesigner I wasn't trauma bonded. That is a mocern thing, where individualism holds sway. I was deeplyk, deeply repressed and somewhat schizoid from all of the abuse.
Reply · 2
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Jennifer Armstrong
+permaculturedesigner My difficulty was that I didn't know the language of emotion, especially as it pertained to Western culture. In my former culture, if you needed some help for something you would speak to someone senior in authority, with a stiff upper lip )on both parts) and they would help you out. But the level of emotion I bought to my situation to try to get others' assistance was never right. I couldn't judge what was a convincint emotional level to indicate urgency and at the same time self-control. In any case, my project may have been defeated from the start, because of the ideology that I was already "privileged", set up for life by my supposedly lucky origins, and that it was everybody else, not me, who was struggling. It was very hard for me to get out of the schizoid state.
Thursday, 28 January 2016
Wednesday, 27 January 2016
Tuesday, 26 January 2016
shamanic
Nietzsche, Bataille and Marechera were all shamanic because they all drilled into the inner world of the psyche and made it their adventure ground. Marechera, though, went further outside the bounds of civilisation. He experimented physically with being very, very wild. He lived the adventure on his own terms, specifically as a vagrant and one who made his own rules and was prepared to live or die on the basis of them. He recorded the impact on his psyche of following his own rules and living on his own terms. He looked at civilisation from the outside and recorded the impact of his alienation in terms of his inner landscape. In all of this he spoke to his people and his time about their limits -- political, psychological and otherwise.
Monday, 25 January 2016
Shamanic paradox in the use and exploitation of schizoid states - YouTube
Shamanic paradox in the use and exploitation of schizoid states - YouTube: "Antistar211 32 seconds ago
Would it be possible for a modern person to read Marechera and understand him?
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Jennifer Armstrong 1 second ago
+Antistar211 I think the biggest difficulty for a modern person is that they are not burdened by Superego in the same way as a non-modern person is. When I read Marechera, what took my breath away was that he had not been forcibly annihilated by his Superego. Authoritarian culture tends to create schizoids, not narcissists. Schizoids have very flattened and underdeveloped feelings, and probably a lot of rage, which rarely gets expressed. There is a heavy lid over their heads all the time that prevents them from understanding themselves or expressing much of anything. That is the force of FORBIDDENNESS. It's the annihilating angel in the Garden of Eden, that prevents a return to Paradise. To lift that lid off one's head after one has been rendered a schizoid by the violent mechanics of the system takes tremendous courage. One ends up revealing all that one's culture wants one to repress. That is the shocking nature of Marechera's writing that is really only evident to those who have a similar schizoid nature and who are willing to open up to the experience entailed in absorbing the writing.BLACK SUNLIGHT is pretty much complete rage and transgression all the way through. Its contents are the cultural repressions of the country in a state of war and revolution. I, personally, felt annihilated by this book, but I was able to rebuild myself (although this took time).
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"
'via Blog this'
Would it be possible for a modern person to read Marechera and understand him?
Reply · 1
Jennifer Armstrong 1 second ago
+Antistar211 I think the biggest difficulty for a modern person is that they are not burdened by Superego in the same way as a non-modern person is. When I read Marechera, what took my breath away was that he had not been forcibly annihilated by his Superego. Authoritarian culture tends to create schizoids, not narcissists. Schizoids have very flattened and underdeveloped feelings, and probably a lot of rage, which rarely gets expressed. There is a heavy lid over their heads all the time that prevents them from understanding themselves or expressing much of anything. That is the force of FORBIDDENNESS. It's the annihilating angel in the Garden of Eden, that prevents a return to Paradise. To lift that lid off one's head after one has been rendered a schizoid by the violent mechanics of the system takes tremendous courage. One ends up revealing all that one's culture wants one to repress. That is the shocking nature of Marechera's writing that is really only evident to those who have a similar schizoid nature and who are willing to open up to the experience entailed in absorbing the writing.BLACK SUNLIGHT is pretty much complete rage and transgression all the way through. Its contents are the cultural repressions of the country in a state of war and revolution. I, personally, felt annihilated by this book, but I was able to rebuild myself (although this took time).
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'via Blog this'
Sunday, 24 January 2016
Narcissistic Mothers and Their Daughters
Jennifer Armstrong 1 second ago
I had a similar experience, but from my father, who thought I was undermining him because of something one of his students may or may not have said about me. All I had done was lean against a wall and tried to be inconspicuous. My father had all sorts of extreme religious indoctrinations about women.
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Thursday, 21 January 2016
Wednesday, 20 January 2016
How Narcissist project their anger onto other people. A Narcissistic trait.
Monday, 18 January 2016
Yeah, sometimes there are no "third people" to ask, because in the situation I was in, which was political/historical trauma, everybody was reacting out of proportion to anything that would be considered normal. Bear in mind that my migration experience was far from an everyday one, but i was considered a white nazi. So in the end I had to use the scientific method of testing the degree of what was now considered normal by directing against others the kind of tone, and sometimes the content, of what was directed at me. I found that even at very toned down levels, they all freaked out and acted as if I were violating their human rights. I learned from this that I wasn't being "sensitive" at all, and to the contrary, I had been absorbing a lot of punishment as if it were the norm.
Sunday, 17 January 2016
Literary endeavour via (and outside of) the schizoid container - YouTube
Literary endeavour via (and outside of) the schizoid container - YouTube
Jennifer Armstrong
12:07 PM
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+EcceSignumRex Yes. Just reminding oneself how one must remember one's own coordinates is the important thing, because people can seem very malicious (and often are) when they impose their incorrect coordinates. I was never free to project onto other people, and I really consider it the height of poor taste....really shocking, unless done by mistake.
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+EcceSignumRex Yes, well I did martial arts for many years, so I know all about those dimensions. I think the difference now is my self-understanding. If we look at cultural magenetisms or weights -- I really am anchored in schizoidism, where as the majority are anchored in narcissism. That's why the points of reference in contemporary psychology are so totally wrong for me. The Westerner starts talking, and immediately I know they've mapped things wrongly for me. For instance if they talk about overcoming one's need to be emotionally expressive, or they speak about learning not to be self-serving but to include others, I am already coming at the issue from entirely the other direction, whereby it is helpful for me to develop some basic levels of narcissism and to gain greater capacity for self-expression.
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Bataille, Wolin, reposted
Bataille does not endorse immediate sense certainty. I believe that this is a mistake made by those who imagine that Bataille's agenda must necessarily be a search for "Truth". Such critics retain the old metaphysical category of Truth that Bataille has long dispensed with, when they try to critique Bataille in this way. Bataille's views were very much psychological and his writings show that he understood very much that his approach was historically situated and far from being universal in the sense that Western metaphysics would posit 'universality'. Bataille was a keen student of Hegel and Marx and thus his views were often very much situated in terms of these theoretical postulates, which do not dispense with an understanding of historically contextualised change and transformation. It is actually outrageous even to suggest that Bataille escaped into irrationalism whilst denying that he had a high level of understanding, both intellectually and experientially, of the nature of bourgeois "rationality". If his writings do not indicate that Bataille understood how the system worked, then perhaps Wolin was reading another Bataille, or reading him through the lens of metaphysical binaries, whereby rationality and irrationality are diametrically opposed, rather than being organically linked in every way (as Bataille knew them to be). Which brings me to my next point. Engaging with the negative in emotion and dialectical swing of the metaphysical pendulum (which was Bataille's actual project, contrary to Wolin) gives one the means to understand the nature of bourgeois rationality more thoroughly. Once again, this is because the irrational and the rational parts of mental processing are intricately linked (they are actually both the products of the human mind). They are not to be cordoned off separately, as if to embrace "rationality" was to renounce some kind of fixed component of irrationality. This would be practically impossible.
It seems that Wolin mistakes Bataille's project for a metaphysical one, when it was really was a psychological orientation toward the way history and politics have framed our metaphysical sense of the irrational.
It seems that Wolin mistakes Bataille's project for a metaphysical one, when it was really was a psychological orientation toward the way history and politics have framed our metaphysical sense of the irrational.
+EcceSignumRex My knowledge is very limited, and in all sorts of ways I've done nothing but admit that. I also don't understand the kind of mindset that would even for a moment suggest that when animals' lives are at stake, it is an ideal time for their moral posturing, or that moral posturing from others ought to be expected. Have a look at my recent video, if you like. All I wanted was for my distress to be acknowledged and for a practical and quick response, but generally I have had people treat my different cultural perspective as narcissism.
Thursday, 14 January 2016
Tuesday, 12 January 2016
Vlog 8 -WARNING: THIS WILL NOT BE POPULAR - YouTube
Vlog 8 -WARNING: THIS WILL NOT BE POPULAR - YouTube:Jennifer Armstrong 1 second ago
I haven't seen the video. It's part of the American scene, so I cannot even comment on it from my own perspective. What I can say is that in the past I was the victim of some of the most extreme misogynistic sentiments because I was trying to express my dilemma of dealing with my father's sweet-mean cycle, and my expectation that whenever he did something nice for me it would be followed up by something extremely nasty. People interpreted my bewildered and traumatized reaction as if it were dislike of people doing "nice" things for me. I was seen as a man hater, which I was not at all -- I really wanted to solve this problem as much for my father as for myself, but people wrote me off as just this nasty and vindictive female. One does has to be careful of these cavalier types and their prosecution of their gender wars, at everyone's expense.
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Vlog 6
My father had that sweet-mean cycle, which was more borderline than narcissistic, and it used to make me feel desperately sad for him. He would sacrifice something or give me money, but I couldn't afford to let down my guard and love him for his selfless act, because I knew that just around the corner was coming manipulation and abuse. This sense I had that it was a selfless act he had performed, but that I couldn't respond to it (because I owed it to myself to protect myself), made me feel extremely helpless and profoundly sad. I tried to get help from all sorts of people, but the complexity of this made it impossible to understand (and I only myself understood it much more recently).
Monday, 11 January 2016
Sunday, 10 January 2016
Saturday, 9 January 2016
Friday, 8 January 2016
Vlog CDVXI
You are clearly not the abuser, but emotionally strong people are considered abusers in this day and age, due to a downward cultural shift, which we are not responsible for. We will put this right again, eventually -- you and I.
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Thursday, 7 January 2016
Wednesday, 6 January 2016
Tuesday, 5 January 2016
Lifetime Of Narcissistic Abuse: My Wife, Art & Fake Friends - YouTube
Lifetime Of Narcissistic Abuse: My Wife, Art & Fake Friends - YouTube: Jennifer Armstrong 1 second ago
At 39:52 -- yeah, I have had the same problem trying to align what people consider to be "abuse" with what I have experienced, because it seems to me I have experienced very extensive and traumatic abuse, having my whole identity erased, and being constantly the fall guy, whereas others view a temporary hostile attitude as being overwhelmingly "abusive" and impossible to take. I mean, really? i went through two decades of that stuff and I had to take it.
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Vlog CDVII - YouTube
Vlog CDVII - YouTube: Leta Robinson 3 hours ago
Listening to the topic on the way narc love relies solely on functionally it doesn't surprise me on the claims that many fall into highly professional careers like business, doctors, layers, scientist. They really deny the spiritual/emotional aspect of being human and they seem to deny that part of our dynamic in relationships and living. I wonder if the ones who are not in the professional careers think in that same degree? Emotion A + Emotion B = Emotion C. We are like a simple formula, really clinical? I have to work at a phone center where we are not suppose to freely make comments and it is so weird that lately they given us emotional prompts [stupid] depending on what they respondent says. Sometimes the prompts are not even relevant or personable in real conversation. It is incredibly embarrassing, sometime I won't even use them.
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Narcissism Things I DO Get - YouTube
Narcissism Things I DO Get - YouTube: Jennifer Armstrong 1 second ago
+Ro Aroha Their hidden self is only in that they get you to misunderstand their real tone and real motives. They allow you to think they are just being playful or expressing bonhomie, or whatever, but their real tone is to undermine you. In fact, though, they say everything that they have to say, only in a veiled way. If you look purely in terms of the content of what they say, there is nothing hidden.
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Monday, 4 January 2016
Sunday, 3 January 2016
transgression
Briefly: why "transgression" should be taken seriously as a method of retrieving health. It is not at all a foolish model of rebelliousness asmodern…
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Perhaps even the majority of people absolutely have a reading and perception problem or just want to be something they are not. I just rec...
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Wouldn’t a Matriarchal Society Be Great? | Clarissa's Blog It's very bizarre essentialism. The 19th Century European notion -- or ...