A useful technique for me when I was blaming myself was to consider the degree of suffering I had experienced, which was deliberate and had not been apologized for. I saw this as crooks having made unauthorized withdrawals from my bank account. I still see it that way. If this is the case, one does not owe others anything if one steps inadvertently on their toes. (I realize this is fundamentally narcissistic thinking, but it worked as a really rough crutch and splint during the transitional stage to recovery.)
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