Self-reconciliation: Is this the hardest act of all? - YouTube

Self-reconciliation: Is this the hardest act of all? - YouTube: Patrick Dement3 hours agoLINKED COMMENT

Crohn's Disease (autoimmune) is prevalent in my mother's side of my family, as were toxic relationship conditions. The onset was at age 10, and I ultimately needed a stem cell transplant (an uncommon and drastic treatment for Crohn's) when I was 20 to finally become healthy. The great medical gurus don't /really/ know what causes it and how to treat it, but I often find myself wondering if it was a way for me to escape the emotional neglect and abuse I endured. Running away from home didn't really seem feasible when I was sick. My health continued to deteriorate, and my prognosis was quite grim - I feel that the parts of me that recognized this and were attacking my body, hoping to do me in. Or at least force a trip to the hospital where I would have a chance at attention and warmth and nurturance from the medical staff. My older brother had it, too, but was not neglected to the extent I was, and his Crohn's was not as severe. He's fine on medication.

I wonder what the state of these diseases would be like without such unhealthy psychological treatment. I would have cost my insurance company millions as I aged were it not for the stem cell transplant. I bet spending a fraction of that on (good) therapy and creating a healthy environment in which I could live would have saved them so much money. As always, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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Jennifer Armstrong20 seconds ago

In my original culture, sickness had the same meaning as moral decay, so I had absolutely not motivation to become weak or frail. It was deeply shameful. Modern people have a bit more wiggle room, because it is permitted to gain sympathy is one is sick, but that is not what I had at all. The weaker my immune system became, the more I blamed myself and desired to hide myself away. My father's rage when he saw me in that condition was ferocious.