People expect you to play a role that is defined how they see your identity to be. So, for instance, when I migrated from Zimbabwe to Australia, I was expected to self-consciously "distance" myself from white, colonial racism. I didn't do that, because I didn't know that this was how "the game" had to be played. I genuinely had no idea about the necessity to play any game.
Similarly, one is expected to maintain an internal consistency of behaviour in relation to how others happen to judge you (i.e. what category they have subconsciously put you into). If you appear to be a particular category of person, but then do not act according to the principles that would define that category of existence, many people become upset. They believe you have "deceived" them -- when really they have simply made a mistake about who you are, and then changed their minds, and then blamed you for the discrepancy between their two perceptions.
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