CUT YOUR LOSSES

I have learned to cut my losses.  You have to realize that absolutely everybody is projecting.  Not all of those projections are malicious.  That is, not all of them are means to get you to do something or be something in service of someone or something who can't be bothered doing it for themselves.   Some projections are based on cultural stereotypes, or ignorance, or habit, or any number of things.  There are people who talk to me in a way that I don't identify with; that I think I am not.  They don't mean any harm by it and they are not obstructing me, so I don't address this.  There are others who are trying to get a hook into me.  They see my independent spirit and my adventurous attitude and they would like to harness that in service to their own goals, whatever those may be.   This seems craven, so it can be hard to believe it is the intent of some people, but all indications are that this is still what some people want to do.

Philosophical idealism is a huge obstacle to understanding how most people operate -- that is, by projection.   We are taught that people are rational, so therefore if they object to us, or try something on, or appear to engage in mind-games, it must be because we upset them in some way and need to adjust our attitudes.   The idea is rarely entertained that we may have upset them by being different, by operating on different principles, by showing that one can embrace attractive options that they have already rejected.

Everybody is projecting, and many men envy women because we seem to represent the ability to access emotions that these men have denied themselves.   We may be oppressively stereotyped, but that isn't what interests the men who feel deprived of access to their own feelings.

Since this fundamental reality is not considered relevant by most people, I have cut my losses with regard to humanity.   Almost everyone chooses to embrace a great deal of irrationality and to operate by projection to a high degree.  There is nothing that a rational person can do to change this, as no amount of Mea Culpas will turn the whole thing around.   Rationality or subtle adjustments won't work.  Paying attention to what other people claim they need won't work, as they rarely need what they claim they need.  Their deeper need is to get rid of the projective mechanisms as a means of adjusting to the world.   Then they can be whole again, and won't need so much from others.  In the mean time, all their claims and demands are bogus.