On liberation

Tobias asks:

Here's the scenario: last week, another FB friend posted up about the salary disparity between men and women here in the US and in canada.. being a job search coach, and recruiter, I typed out some salary negotiation tips that women could use so they wouldn't be taken advantage of when it was job offer time.. now, I agree that wage disparity is real, and it's a bad thing, and I also understand that not everyone can negotiate a salary..sometimes an hourly wage is all you get and it's a take it or leave it proposition.. anyway, I got yelled at for being an individualist..that being an individualist didn't help the class of lesser paid women as an aggregate.. my view was that if one has the means to not be a victim they should take it, and not wait for an outside entity to change things, but this was what I wanted to ask you: is it better to teach individuals to not be victims one at a time, or is it better to advocate for a wholesale change to a fairer system for all, even if done by force or if the aftermath results in the hampering of someone elses ability to get ahead? In trying to break people out of a box, aren't we then creating boxes for others, and do we have that right?

I'm really interested in your view because the FB friend who yelled at me is a personal fitness trainer...I thought it odd that someone who teaches empowerment to women who need a problem solved would yell at someone ( me) who spends a lot of time teaching women how to be empowered in terms of their career. I figured that since you teach womens sellf defense, AND you speak in terms of class and systems, you would be the person to ask.


Answer:
The thing is, Tobias, that what can look like an extremely easy problem to "fix" from the outside is often fraught with a lot of complications. The complications I am talking about are not the result of any particular individual's actions or willingness to accept a "victim" status. Rather, they are due to broad-based dispositions to treat men and women differently, within the system. This brings me to my next point: the solutions that work for you, or indeed, for men generally, within the system, will not necessarily 'work' for women.

Look at it this way: If a woman behaves as if her gender didn't matter, she is viewed as stepping out of line, exhibiting signs of poor socialisation and (to the degree that she does not defer to the males as men), her behaviour can often be written off as "pathological".

A man who behaves assertively in order to get a raise can be considered to be behaving appropriately and according to the implicit social rules governing "masculine" behaviour. A woman who behaves in exactly the same assertive way may be considered to have stuck her neck out so far that she may actually risk losing her job.

If you are going to set out to educate women about how to claim their rights, you need to be aware that women's experiences and yours are not going to be of the same order.