From my shamanistic perspective, which I developed through writing my thesis, there are no guarantees in life whatsoever. That should be the fundamental proposition of my shamanism. Secondly, often we can find the cause of our illnesses by getting to the root of the problem ourselves. Our illness can and should teach us something. Nonetheless, in remaining with my proposition concerning the disinterested nature of the universe, many events happen to us, including illnesses, which are not within our range to cure. Shamanism radically departs from conventional “spiritual” cures in that it refuses to take its cue from the sick priest — the one described by Nietzsche in Genealogy of Morals. So, “taking responsibility” of ones illnesses — if this responsibility implies first and foremost MORAL responsibility — is rejected for its epistemological falseness. Almost always, sickness originates outside of oneself. If one is powerful enough, one can reverse its effect. That is shamans of all ages are supposed to do. But, whether or not one can do it is a matter of personal power in its broadest sense and not a matter of one’s moral fiber or otherwise.
And this is why, as I have implied before, my memoir became for me an exercise in destruction of my own patriarchal character structure, which was self-doubting and deferential to the idea that men were superior to women. I fully succeeded in destroying it. When I began writing it, I had a lot of male admirers, from the right. Now, I have succeeded in becoming incomprehensible to almost everyone — but very much admired and appreciated by myself.
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