Julia Riber Pitt33 minutes ago
Would you say the experience of the narcissist is a bit of a paradox: they approach life with the willingness to dominate, but when things don't go their way they scurry off or revert to a childish state in order to shield themselves from narcissistic injury?
1
Yes, I would say so. But what I thought was that the motion is not a two-step process in fact, but is entailed in the logic of the whole narcissistic reflex. I suddenly caught sight of it that way, with the recent troll. His once off statement narrowed things for me, because I suddenly noticed that what narcissistic people are reacting to is the fact, or existence, of the struggle. To them a struggle is unsightly and a hugely negative indictment of the self. But why is this? The way a narcissist would describe it to themselves is that you shouldn't have to struggle if you are already close to perfection, so you must be pretty messed up. The truth, however, is very different. The narcissist shields himself from the knowledge that what he is afraid of is an encounter with reality, which necessarily has to be difficult and a bit uncomfortable. His lie is that others struggle because they are not perfect: His fear is that there is a reality outside of his head that has to be contended with. This (second point) terrifies him. His primitive ego-defence against this reality is to attack the person who has had to struggle, by implying that they are far from perfect. But this is really his way of warding off reality per se, and subscribing to a belief that one doesn't have to struggle with it.
Can you see, then, that in the moment he is making the assertion, he is also scurrying away?
Can you see, then, that in the moment he is making the assertion, he is also scurrying away?
