Unlike the shaman, whom I have argued elsewhere, retreats only temporarily into the magical realm in order to retrieve better tools for practical living, the modern day misogynist retreats into this realm for good.
The spectre of the adult female frightens him so much that he retreats to a stage of development where he feels that he will be unharmed. This early mode of development is, as Sherry Salman points out, a dissociative mode of the pre-Oedipal self.
The misogynist has certainly made his retreat. In the regressive mode he hopes to find safety and security at once. Yet, he finds he cannot do without women. So, women re-enter his picture, this time as mothers. The pre-Oedipal self wants to be cared for and assured that all is well. Above all, it DEMANDS it. "You OWE me this!" it screams to every passing female. "I need to be loved, and cared for, and attended to!"
In this dissociated condition, its seems to the one who screams thus that he is calling from a state of pure benevolence, goodness and light. It is his inherent righteousness that enables him to make such a call for the attentions of others. Truth be told, however, he is also a little self-disgusted. "I just shat myself -- and YOU made me do it!!" he proclaims to those he wants to enrol to do the task of mother.
At other times, he is more sure of himself: "I am the superman," he proclaims. Magical thinking of this sort enables him to comfort himself whilst remaining entirely passive -- it is not his task to influence the world, after all.
The misogynist yelps: "You have made me frightened, and now I DEMAND to be comforted and unconditionally accepted!"
The spectre of the adult female frightens him so much that he retreats to a stage of development where he feels that he will be unharmed. This early mode of development is, as Sherry Salman points out, a dissociative mode of the pre-Oedipal self.
The misogynist has certainly made his retreat. In the regressive mode he hopes to find safety and security at once. Yet, he finds he cannot do without women. So, women re-enter his picture, this time as mothers. The pre-Oedipal self wants to be cared for and assured that all is well. Above all, it DEMANDS it. "You OWE me this!" it screams to every passing female. "I need to be loved, and cared for, and attended to!"
In this dissociated condition, its seems to the one who screams thus that he is calling from a state of pure benevolence, goodness and light. It is his inherent righteousness that enables him to make such a call for the attentions of others. Truth be told, however, he is also a little self-disgusted. "I just shat myself -- and YOU made me do it!!" he proclaims to those he wants to enrol to do the task of mother.
At other times, he is more sure of himself: "I am the superman," he proclaims. Magical thinking of this sort enables him to comfort himself whilst remaining entirely passive -- it is not his task to influence the world, after all.
The misogynist yelps: "You have made me frightened, and now I DEMAND to be comforted and unconditionally accepted!"
2 comments:
Excellent post.
It occurs to me - a friend of mine I rarely see is one of the two truly psychic people I have ever met. (I would not believe in psychics had I not met these two people.)
I described to him the behavior of my X, the one who neglects his health so as to create a crisis which manipulates his associates into caring for him (at least, until they figure the game out).
What my psychic friend - not a person with much formal education, although he *may* have read Freud or something in his free time, he can be surprising in this way - said: "Was his mother really THAT cold? It is amazing! This man's entire internal dialogue is MOTHER YES NO MOTHER YES NO."
But don't you think that there is - at least potentially -- more to it than just the possibility of poor motherhood or poor parenthood, causing people to behave in this way?
It seems to me almost like the political mood these days allows men, in particular, to simply let themselves go. It's like they get a message: "Let yourself go, and don't try to be anything any more, because you're super and great just as you are!"
And I think that this is the mood that leads to the regression. And no doubt the mood is also fueled by it being in fashion to hate on women.
But the superman or the would-be overman does NOT find his true identity by reverting "to Nature". Rather, I think, he finds his true nemesis, his own little hell of suffering, in an enhanced form.
So, once again he has to deal with women, only in the form of the smother-mother, whose territory he descends into, by his own lack of ethical integrity and will.
However, even in the midst of his self-induced suffering and insanity, he believes that the greater portion of his burden is because he has attempted more, and that he is suffering now as the Overman.
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