Who Are These Clowns? | Clarissa's Blog
I don't think it has anything to do with hiding in the realm of the subjective and insubstantial. If you think so, you haven't had full-on psychological warfare directed at you, but I assure you this is not the case. In fact, you can be very, very direct, but this will not be read as directness but as anger. Anger is also disallowed, because you are crossing the set boundaries from female to male. You must have an identity disorder.
I will say that my experiences have been extreme because I come from an extreme right-wing background, which I have needed to extricate myself from. Also, take note that my background and that of my family was totally immersed in an ongoing psy. war and propaganda war, similar to the cold war, but much more intense and personal. So even my parents have willingly used the psy. war tactics developed, I presume, during the war, against me. To the degree that I have gone to the left they have done this reflexively and thoughtlessly.
In any case, you can put me through more and more training. I am now thoroughly trained to fight this kind of psy, war, even from a position of extreme weakness, and still come out on top. I think Bataille and his notion of 'informe" or formlessness ulimately saved the day, but that was only after a couple of decades of trying different things and being worn down.
http://www.univie.ac.at/wissenschaftstheorie/srb/srb/formalinsistence.pdf
My family successfully painted me as a hysteric to the degree I got angry. There was much to get angry about, above all not being allowed to grow up and become a person. I believe that my situation strongly paralleled that of the colonial blacks who were kept under "civilised" control despite their war of rebellion and were constantly undermined by being represented as children or savages. My parents represented me to myself and others as both. It's hard to break out of that psychological and cultural dynamic when it is all that one has known. To assert that one is other than what one is taken to be invites rage on the part of those who want to maintain political control.
As for me, I could not be further from the American socialization pattern, and I am sick and tired of being mistaken for an American. I have nothing to learn from Americans or their self-improvent programs. I just don't have anything in common with that culture or its assumptions about social conditioning. I know that what I had to escape from was the internalisation of the logic perpetuated by psychological warfare. I used Bataille's notion of formlessness to claim my sovereignty, by renouncing the need for others to recognise my rights and simply taking them for myself in the most natural way. But before that, I tried all sorts of other methods to try to escape, including being very direct and aggressive and appealing to others -- all to no avail.
I don't think it has anything to do with hiding in the realm of the subjective and insubstantial. If you think so, you haven't had full-on psychological warfare directed at you, but I assure you this is not the case. In fact, you can be very, very direct, but this will not be read as directness but as anger. Anger is also disallowed, because you are crossing the set boundaries from female to male. You must have an identity disorder.
I will say that my experiences have been extreme because I come from an extreme right-wing background, which I have needed to extricate myself from. Also, take note that my background and that of my family was totally immersed in an ongoing psy. war and propaganda war, similar to the cold war, but much more intense and personal. So even my parents have willingly used the psy. war tactics developed, I presume, during the war, against me. To the degree that I have gone to the left they have done this reflexively and thoughtlessly.
In any case, you can put me through more and more training. I am now thoroughly trained to fight this kind of psy, war, even from a position of extreme weakness, and still come out on top. I think Bataille and his notion of 'informe" or formlessness ulimately saved the day, but that was only after a couple of decades of trying different things and being worn down.
http://www.univie.ac.at/wissenschaftstheorie/srb/srb/formalinsistence.pdf
My family successfully painted me as a hysteric to the degree I got angry. There was much to get angry about, above all not being allowed to grow up and become a person. I believe that my situation strongly paralleled that of the colonial blacks who were kept under "civilised" control despite their war of rebellion and were constantly undermined by being represented as children or savages. My parents represented me to myself and others as both. It's hard to break out of that psychological and cultural dynamic when it is all that one has known. To assert that one is other than what one is taken to be invites rage on the part of those who want to maintain political control.
As for me, I could not be further from the American socialization pattern, and I am sick and tired of being mistaken for an American. I have nothing to learn from Americans or their self-improvent programs. I just don't have anything in common with that culture or its assumptions about social conditioning. I know that what I had to escape from was the internalisation of the logic perpetuated by psychological warfare. I used Bataille's notion of formlessness to claim my sovereignty, by renouncing the need for others to recognise my rights and simply taking them for myself in the most natural way. But before that, I tried all sorts of other methods to try to escape, including being very direct and aggressive and appealing to others -- all to no avail.
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