Make omlettes out of failed intent!

The crudest kind of behaviour -- and it is by no means limited to Westerners alone -- is to openly and overtly demand respect. This rarely works, because a demand to be respected rarely coincides with a display of one's respect-worthiness. But also, demanding that one be respected (in other words, trying to force the issue of making another defer to you)is likely to broadcast your intent in a way that makes it seem much narrower than if you were not to express it directly.

I am often astonished by people who use this crude method of relating, that they do not try all sorts of other methods first. The indirect methods of appealing to people tend to work much better than trying to force the other person to see you in the harsh light of day. If you do force them to see you that way, what is there to guarantee that they will come to respect you more than before? The chances are that they will respect you less once you have made it clear to them how very much your views and interests diverge from those whom you were trying to persuade.

This method of trying to get your way is crude and rude because of what it implies about your listeners. It relies upon the existence of a naturally submissive tendency in these others whom you would shock into submission. But get this wrong and you've played your hand. You've spelled out the limited and restricted nature of your intent. You've placed all of your eggs in the one basket, and you've gone ahead and dropped them all.

If your single chance to make a good impression doesn't work for you -- make omlettes!