When I reflect upon my experiences with the human race, particularly certain cultural sectors of it, I realise that I have often, if not generally, tended to be in error whenever I have taken people at their word. I take things in the wrong direction -- but partly because I'm the kind of person who takes up a challenge and is always trying to improve.
So, for a long time, I thought I had to raise my tone and level of intellect to "compete" with everyone around me, because they were implying that I was stupid. What I didn't understand is that they were implying that I was not intelligent, because they felt threatened by my way of speaking (I have quite a British tone and was brought up in a rather mannered and repressive culture). So, what they were saying was, "You're not better than us. Stop trying to act as if you are." Whereas, what I heard was, "You are not better than us. Try to develop your intellect more, so that we can accept you."
Similarly with the gender based put downs. They are supposed to make me MORE emotional -- hence more vulnerable to manipulation. Actually, they have the opposite effect.
I think many people are, however, brow beaten by systematic put downs. That is how it often works with gender. Many women come to believe that they have inferior qualities to the men around them because the social system doesn't allow them to thrive so well and they are systematically put down. It becomes essentialised "nature" to express self doubt.
In my case, I just saw the put downs as an intellectual puzzle. I was affected by them, too, but primarily they were a mystery, to some degree removed from me by certain cultural shields.
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