Women need, first, to understand that patriarchal moral constructs have nothing to do with the real world, even though the effects of patriarchal accusations are quintessentially real and concrete. I know that this is intuitively very hard to grasp because as humans the real world ought to be our main reference point and most intelligent people understand that there are real consequences for real actions. But, according to patriarchy, women occupy the realm of the petty, therefore to do harm to women is not considered significant -- it is also called "petty".
Patriarchal men will apply this term to any situation that involves women, not because what happens in the domestic abuse situation is actually petty, but because women themselves are considered irrelevant under patriarchy.
Women often have a very hard time understanding this. They take the criticisms that they are being "petty" as having practical or concrete meaning. Many of them try to rise above their own putative "pettiness" by conforming more to what males expect. But, they misunderstand the criticisms that are leveled against them: "petty" doesn't have anything to do with any woman's actions, whether right or wrong. The ideology of patriarchy doesn't work this way. "Petty" is a metaphysical (meaning, unchanging) judgment about women in general, unrelated to your actions. You can't rise above this criticism of "pettiness", because so far as patriarchy is concerned "pettiness" is what defines your female nature -- it's what patriarchy thinks "you are".
How we can get out of these traps that patriarchy sets for us it to realise that there is nothing we can do to improve our "natures". If we fall into the trap, we will try to keep improving and improving, believing that one day we will be deemed to be less than petty. But, that isn't how patriarchy works. You can't escape this criticism, ever, because of your gender. So what are you going to do about it?
There are many things you can do. You can educate yourself about patriarchy. You can take up self-defence. You can stop tolerating men's emotional blackmail. They say: "If you take offence at my abuse, you're being petty!" You need to remind yourself that you have nothing to lose by taking offence, since you WILL be considered petty anyway, no matter what you do.
But the situation is far from hopeless. Feminism had already made some inroads into many societies and even those countries which are considered to be further behind the most advanced countries, in terms of the industrial revolution, have some feminist stalwarts.
Actually, women who have insight into the metaphysical constructs of patriarchy can make themselves very, very free indeed. They no longer buy into the emotional blackmail that is used to control other women through generating in them a sense of guilt and inadequacy. Such women can look at the games that these patriarchs play, which broadcast their inadequacies and fears.
"Why not face the world as a real human being, rather than try to manipulate others to do your will?" we should ask, when people try to bring us down with forms of emotional blackmail that slight our characters.
We can now actually see behind that manly mask and notice the crumbling and weak person there, who just wants to use patriarchal ideology to help him get his own way.
Tony Abbott.
Patriarchal men will apply this term to any situation that involves women, not because what happens in the domestic abuse situation is actually petty, but because women themselves are considered irrelevant under patriarchy.
Women often have a very hard time understanding this. They take the criticisms that they are being "petty" as having practical or concrete meaning. Many of them try to rise above their own putative "pettiness" by conforming more to what males expect. But, they misunderstand the criticisms that are leveled against them: "petty" doesn't have anything to do with any woman's actions, whether right or wrong. The ideology of patriarchy doesn't work this way. "Petty" is a metaphysical (meaning, unchanging) judgment about women in general, unrelated to your actions. You can't rise above this criticism of "pettiness", because so far as patriarchy is concerned "pettiness" is what defines your female nature -- it's what patriarchy thinks "you are".
How we can get out of these traps that patriarchy sets for us it to realise that there is nothing we can do to improve our "natures". If we fall into the trap, we will try to keep improving and improving, believing that one day we will be deemed to be less than petty. But, that isn't how patriarchy works. You can't escape this criticism, ever, because of your gender. So what are you going to do about it?
There are many things you can do. You can educate yourself about patriarchy. You can take up self-defence. You can stop tolerating men's emotional blackmail. They say: "If you take offence at my abuse, you're being petty!" You need to remind yourself that you have nothing to lose by taking offence, since you WILL be considered petty anyway, no matter what you do.
But the situation is far from hopeless. Feminism had already made some inroads into many societies and even those countries which are considered to be further behind the most advanced countries, in terms of the industrial revolution, have some feminist stalwarts.
Actually, women who have insight into the metaphysical constructs of patriarchy can make themselves very, very free indeed. They no longer buy into the emotional blackmail that is used to control other women through generating in them a sense of guilt and inadequacy. Such women can look at the games that these patriarchs play, which broadcast their inadequacies and fears.
"Why not face the world as a real human being, rather than try to manipulate others to do your will?" we should ask, when people try to bring us down with forms of emotional blackmail that slight our characters.
We can now actually see behind that manly mask and notice the crumbling and weak person there, who just wants to use patriarchal ideology to help him get his own way.
Tony Abbott.
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