Giving and taking criticism is much easier if the ego is not very involved. By “ego” I don’t mean self-esteem, but rather the sense of one’s individual, isolated identity as being individual and isolated.
Japanese people take criticism much more easily, because they see it as useful for their progress, but Western people seem to see it as an attack on their identity.
I’ve tried it both ways and nowadays I opt for the Japanese way as this is much kinder on myself and, furthermore, facilitates my progress.
The problem with viewing criticism from the point of view of the isolated and individual ego is that criticism gains the power of absolute values. This is because the ego is very much stuck in the present. I believe that Freud might have said, the role of the ego is to orient us to the present. But, that is also its limitation. The present and its limitations are absolute. Therefore, criticism seems to present itself to us as an absolute condemnation of our absolute identity in the absolute nature of the present.
What is lost in all of this is the sense of the self as a subject in transition. The process of transition is itself meaningful and valuable, whereas the criticism is only indicative of the kind of progress one is making.
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