Lack of familiarity breeds contempt

 If I move into a state of feeling fraught my readings do become more interesting.   Maybe not more accurate, but more intriguing.

It is emotionally costly, though, and probably physically so, that I am better at accessing these ideas when I go to extremes in intoxication or endurance.   And all the same, what I think people would benefit most from, these days, is a very sober, very simple and direct remapping of reality. My revelations only come with huge investiture:  mine.  And the returns are not so good.  People imagine that they are the sober ones and that I am insane.

It’s not rigor, anyway, that is needed for this kind of writing I can do, but the ability to catch waves – which are forms of energy.   If I do this kind of thing, I sacrifice rigor.   Rigor and stream of consciousness use different parts of the brain.

In Marechera’s writing, it LOOKS like stream of consciousness, but he has actually internalized a lot of information and it roughly forms a system.  But nobody can read his writing, pretty much.  I mean they don’t read BLACK SUNLIGHT for what is actually in there.  They don’t read it as a whole perspective, but rather they start by looking for motifs they are  familiar with, and then they say, “Oh, well, it seems he is a sexist” or “he’s down on himself and it a racist”.   This is about the level at which most people are capable of reading.

They gingerly put one toe into the water and quickly retract.   But the thing is, they really believe they have read the book and come to terms with its essential message.   And everybody else thinks they have read the book as well.   But they’re just talking to themselves about something they think they already know.  They haven’t gone beyond themselves, yet – out of themselves and INTO the book.  

Standing on the outside of the pool, accusing the writer of being self-involved, they remain where they are forever.