Vlog CCLXIII

In my case I had been a victim if not extremely vulnerable ever since I became a migrant, because I was not protected by a common understanding, socially, politically and psychologically, and because my father had suffered such a high level of catastrophe in his life that he had turned into a psychological vampire, trying to reclaim some of his life by taking mine.  I suffered huge psychological injuries, but gradually recovered from most of them.   As I went through the very slow recovery process of putting myself, my mind and my health back together, I took up writing.  I wrote a book about my circumstances, thinking that at least intellectuals would be able to understand and sympathize with me, if nobody else could.   I kept correcting it over the years, since people said it still was not communicating my intentions effectively.  In fact, I was afraid of shocking and hurting others, so I did not speak directly of my father's extreme violence, for instance when he overturned the mattress with me in it, and I had been sleeping naked.   I'd kept the writing at a fairly abstract level, implying the violence but not necessarily stating the contents outright.
Intellectuals.....Did they understand my work?   They turned on me more viciously than anybody had ever done, making out that nothing really occurs in reality.  From their point of view, the only events that occur are inside one's head.
I felt this to be an extreme betrayal on all levels, not just on the personal level.  These intellectuals were actually denying that one should communicate something that they didn't want to hear.  Not only that, there was an element of viciousness and personal attack to their responses, which were not measured and intellectual at all.  Indeed, there had been no attempt to make them seem so.
By this time, though, I was getting used to the high levels of unexplained personal hostilities, so I was at least half-ready for the disappointment and sense of being rebuffed.  In martial arts we learned that if someone is really coming after you, you have no choice but to fight them back as hard as you can, so that they will not be able to do that again.  
This was really the turning point for me in waking up to the intentional nature of the hostilities that would bury my reality and making the direct attackers regret taking me on.
As for the bystanders, they get to suffer their own delusions through their embrace of reality distortion.