aggression turned inwards: a culturally conditioned state of mind

Chronic fatigue syndrome seems to be linked to aggression turned inwards, especially in women. My understanding is purely anecdotal, but this seems reasonable for me to presume, especially based on my own long-term introspection (I was extremely miserable and tired in my early twenties). I know one woman from Zimbabwe who had it. I remember her build up of tension when she complained about how stressful she considered children to be. She had very Victorian sensibilities about femininity on the one hand. On the other, it was the height of the war, around 1976, when there was an influx of insurgents. She later developed extreme CFS — but this was much later, about 30 years after migrating to Australia. Her attitudes were still repressed — not expressing anger or sexuality, but keeping them bottled up under a lid of Christian repression.

Another woman who says she had this condition was one of the most formidable people I know in my martial arts gym. She is the epitome of psychological health — very aggressive and forthright. Apparently she had the condition in her early twenties, and I presume this must have been related to trying to adjust to a narrowly feminine gender role. (I’m not sure she was during any sports at that time.)

As I said, I also had the same thing and I found a way to combat it by directing my aggressive energies outward instead of inward. I had very much to be angry about. In fact I was absolutely furious about almost everything in my life, but I didn’t know it. Thus, I became sick.

Even today, my blood pressure gauge, newly purchased, acts as a lie detector test. If I say, “I am calm and will get a good reading” it always gives me an impossibly high reading. Then I recoil and state, “Okay, you got me there. I’m still very angry about a lot of things and I will list them off.” This brings my blood pressure down about 50 points, even as I am feeling angry and making my lists.
I do rather heavy martial arts training and nowadays barely raise a sweat. The fundamental difference is that I've learned to turn my aggression outwards, rather than directing in inwards, toward myself.
I have no doubt whatsoever that aggression turned inwards registers in biological terms, for instance as a suppressed immune system and having trouble sleeping. I don’t consider those findings to be controversial. They’re just what one would expect to find.


STAY SANE AND SAVAGE Gender activism, intellectual shamanism