Danny:
I don’t think [contemporary identity politics is] a matter of freezing time but rather having only their own life time to measure what they call a “hard life”, “easy life”, etc… And (if I understand you) making history over won’t do good because that would only bring back the those things from the past that would actually make life harder.
JA–Well do they want a hard life or an easy life? I think that is much of the problem. They don’t know. It’s important to figure that out in one’s mind, otherwise one won’t be able to obtain what one wants. In my case, I’ve always wanted a rite of passage. I couldn’t quite formulate what I wanted for many years, but I finally obtained what I wanted through a process of experimentation and elimination. Now, I’ve effected that transition to the other state of being. I’ve been feeling wonderful for months. It took me many years, but I've achieved it.
Danny:
True. Things have gotten better in comparison to how people were as relatively little as 60-70 years ago. And of course that’s a good thing. The problem is those “old ways” are still in effect, namely the damaging ones. If I were to have a son and daughter 10 years from now sure those two would have a much greater chance at being able to exist outside the boy/girl gender binary that my grandparents were stuck under. At the same time there is still a chance that they will still have those expectations floating over their heads.
JA—In some ways, things have become worse. I grew up with a tremendous amount of freedom and very little policing. I used to get around on horseback. I fell off numerous times, got lost quite far from my home, and once my horse fell on me.
Danny:
True this does happen but what I’m thinking is more like, “I’m a masculine entity. But don’t presume that there is a standard definition of ‘masculine entity’”. Which brings us to…
JA—Well then you need to make sure to communicate to whomever you are with what you understand by your own identity. Make it plain. Don’t expect people to mind read.
Danny:
For me I’ll admit that masculine is pretty loosely defined for me and is mostly tied to the male body I have. Now as for why that necessitates respect I say it does in the sense that I have my own masculine way and (as per not identifying me solely in terms of identity) the fact that my way may not match your way is not reason enough to disrespect me. (Mind you if I were doing something damaging…)
JA—but that is all too much in categorical terms to be much use for any kind of human relationship – which was my original point. To illustrate it a bit more, I have a lot of strangers coming up to me on Facebook and addressing me in a way that implies we are already on very familiar terms. These people are relying very heavily on traditional constructs of masculinity and femininity, whereby I’m expected to respond in a generic way, that is “as a female” per se, and not as my self. Obviously, I have no use for these kinds of conversations or relationships. If these same people had tried an approach that took into account my individuality, we might have got somewhere. So — I see very little point in being reliant upon categorical identities. You are biologically male and that is irreducible. Work with it. Don’t try to set a category around it for stabilization. That will fail – mainly because it is impersonal and dehumanizing.
Danny:
Yes individualism is going to play a role in parsing all this stuff. I agree that life will not be as hard as in the past when the gender roles were more rigid. But obviously that doesn’t mean we should just not bother trying to loosen them up right?
JA—”Individualism” isn’t an entity. Humans are individual entities. There’s a world of difference here.
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