A divided consciousness endlessly moralises and its moralising is an expression of erotic yearning. It doesn't desire others so much as its own wholeness. The sense of loss and lack that underlies the moralistic mindset leads to a continous outpouring of desire to mend reality as such. Reality is deemed to have been broken but it is the individual divided from their self who is damaged, not reality.
I used to believe the lie that my society was no more and therefore I could never go back to it, but that idea of things was not factual, but the expressed disappointment of the adults of my society. Conscientiously, they had deemed they could never go back to a revolutionised society, for that would have betrayed the valued they had fought for and Christian beliefs. But in reality, it was they who has been hurt by losing the the domestic war, not reality itself. Emotionally, of course, our minds do flow along the channels, cracks and crevices that our own beliefs have established in the outside world, but the idea that there had to be a perfect fit between one's own mind and an external structure of reality is just that of the disappointed eroticist longing for itself. In insisting that one has to have only these specific rocks, these particular trees, and these alone, one expresses the degree to which the mind is divided from itself.
To be separated in this way is agony, but it is also the Western condition. Severe separation from oneself happens with the onset of moral reasoning. It is likely that this separation leads to moral reasoning and not the other way around. If one already has all that one needs one does not go on endlessly about the damaged nature of the world.
By contrast, mid-life crises, ineffectual revolutions, broken relationships and ways of reading literary texts that miss the point all point to a severe self-separation. If one doesn't know what one is thinking, one will strike out in the wrong direction. The older one is the harder it is to repair the inwardly ruptured self. That's when life seems to appeal to one erotically, but the damaged pieces will not fit together. Still, it is as if the calling comes from outside. In reality it's just the inner self divided from oneself that creates this effect that seems to make it look like exterior circumstances are beseeching you.
It's not one fault. One fixes oneself inwardly be reconnecting to the primal drives, above all by becoming more aware of the surrounding noises of violence and sexuality. These are not far off, but are pressing inward against you. You reject them because they're negative but they are only so because you haven't connected them with you. They are your integral whole.
Once you are united with yourself, violence and erotic appeals no longer seem to come from the environment in ways that are unsettling. They are known and anticipated because they are a part of you.
It doesn't mean you won't be violent and unsettling, or that you will have achieved your goals morally, but when you are complete you are no longer intellectually confused and victim to the games of others. Let us put it this way: you will be more self-rescourceful.
I used to believe the lie that my society was no more and therefore I could never go back to it, but that idea of things was not factual, but the expressed disappointment of the adults of my society. Conscientiously, they had deemed they could never go back to a revolutionised society, for that would have betrayed the valued they had fought for and Christian beliefs. But in reality, it was they who has been hurt by losing the the domestic war, not reality itself. Emotionally, of course, our minds do flow along the channels, cracks and crevices that our own beliefs have established in the outside world, but the idea that there had to be a perfect fit between one's own mind and an external structure of reality is just that of the disappointed eroticist longing for itself. In insisting that one has to have only these specific rocks, these particular trees, and these alone, one expresses the degree to which the mind is divided from itself.
To be separated in this way is agony, but it is also the Western condition. Severe separation from oneself happens with the onset of moral reasoning. It is likely that this separation leads to moral reasoning and not the other way around. If one already has all that one needs one does not go on endlessly about the damaged nature of the world.
By contrast, mid-life crises, ineffectual revolutions, broken relationships and ways of reading literary texts that miss the point all point to a severe self-separation. If one doesn't know what one is thinking, one will strike out in the wrong direction. The older one is the harder it is to repair the inwardly ruptured self. That's when life seems to appeal to one erotically, but the damaged pieces will not fit together. Still, it is as if the calling comes from outside. In reality it's just the inner self divided from oneself that creates this effect that seems to make it look like exterior circumstances are beseeching you.
It's not one fault. One fixes oneself inwardly be reconnecting to the primal drives, above all by becoming more aware of the surrounding noises of violence and sexuality. These are not far off, but are pressing inward against you. You reject them because they're negative but they are only so because you haven't connected them with you. They are your integral whole.
Once you are united with yourself, violence and erotic appeals no longer seem to come from the environment in ways that are unsettling. They are known and anticipated because they are a part of you.
It doesn't mean you won't be violent and unsettling, or that you will have achieved your goals morally, but when you are complete you are no longer intellectually confused and victim to the games of others. Let us put it this way: you will be more self-rescourceful.
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