Tuesday 15 July 2008

Some basic rules from Neighbours --the Australian soap

The show Neighbours is a quintessentially bourgeois ideological product. The key to understanding its whole dynamic is to accept that the characters are individuals only to the degree that they are economic actors. Outside of that, they fall into various degrees of ineptitude.

Here are some more insights:

1. The earth in the Neighbours show appears to have been poisoned. That means that should any one of the characters hit the ground inadvertently, especially if they end up becoming horizontal, it is a sure sign that they are very likely to die. Robust characters stay upright. However, the caprice of fate or the manifestation of pure evil is capable of knocking them horizontal.

2. Pure evil is so powerful that mere mortals, trained as they are only in the matters of economic striving, but apart from that to mind their own business about the deeper issues of life, cannot combat it. Even a big blustery character, using all his might, cannot overcome a rather weedly looking boy armed only with a cigarette lighter, if that character is defined as pure evil.

3. Women, no matter what their degree of youthful bravado is in earlier life, all devolve into womanly women with sensitive demeanours and neurotic fears, as they get older.

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Other notes:

If you have a defence weapon such as a fireplace poker in hand, don't give it up, because you can't believe the person you are dealing with is not truly evil. They are. What's more, you face the further danger of hitting the ground unwillingly and therefore having to die, if he assaults you. The best thing is to retain the weapon and do an eskrima number one strike (diagonally from right to left) across the temple. Then do an eskrima number two strike (in the opposite direction). Ideally, if the assailant is still standing, I would finish this off with a number 5 bayonet style strike, straight through the guts.


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Cultural barriers to objectivity