Well I've had a strange week -- much of it without the Internet or a phone. The phone went dead on Friday night or so and still hasn't been reconnected. On my wander up towards the train station during the week, I saw a Telstra man deep in a ditch attaching or investigating wires. Apparently something is mal in the state of Cannington.
So......my phonecalls all had to be diverted via my parents' place, given their kindly offer to host my ESL sessions. That was last weekend, when I woke up during the night and then again at 6 pm to find the system was still dead. This eventuality ended up provoking a tenuous reconciliation with the parent folk, given that I am destined to be in their good books lately since nothing succeeds like success.
I've put off giving ESL sessions this week, which makes things seem odd indeed, since thee devil does make work for idle minds - or rather, does make idle minds work, given that there are no other means to achieve temporary distraction.
Right now Mr Internet is popping up with signs that tell me of a limited local connection. Thee telephone is still not working. Reportely 600 other people are in this same boat.
Due to all my hard work, getting things done, I've abandoned my libidinous impulses, and only tend them sullenly, through moments of sporadic sparring, not even temporary reflections. That feels odd as well. A symptom of an uncluttered mind.
Ah! I long for adventure!! Not the adventure that you have to plan step by step of the way, but the one that happens naturally, freeflowingly, in open space. (I long for open space and feel so cramped in what appears increasingly to be an overpopulated planet. Give me air.
An having distance myself quite a bit from Western culture by immersing myself in Zimbabwe and its strange affairs, I now feel really alienated from all the little, baby sparring matches occuring on the ideological sites, staking their grounds for their own particular brand of identity politics. Such approaches seem all too disatisfying and remarkably limited, like the possibility of sex that never really gets off the ground.
So I must wait, and last out the winter, and try somehow to thrive against the odds. I'm SO bored; have conquered all my intellectual goals of late. Resent the possibility of spending long boring hours filling out footnotes, or detailing in endless amounts of forms. Life is too short for that.
I must pick up the little strings of other goals. I have abandoned skydiving, and temporarily my next martial arts belt. The reason is that intellectual projects have cropped up, and so I have abandoned this, that and the other -- all important stuff, put to one side for too long.
I find my martial arts fuels my intellectual training, but not the other way around. This implies an order of priorities, which I have been casually abandoning. I mustn't.
I wish someone would say something intriguing.
2 comments:
It's too boring where you are. You need adventure. That's your nature.
Take a Wanderjahr or two. You could support yourself teaching.
Don't get tied down.
See, that's the thing - I thrive on challenge, so a year or two off would drive me mad more than anything. I have a few challenges lined up -- a presentation at a Melbourne conference this year and one at Oxford University next year. However, I am seriously concerned that neither will be challenging enough to really give me the infusion of excitement I am looking for.
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