It's weird -- there are some things I am happy to do in public and some things that I am not. One of those things I am happy to do is sparring, anything to do with martial arts.
But things get creepy when they get patriarchal. To counteract the patriarchal feeling of a wedding, I dressed in a new martial arts gi and got married in that. I made sure to use minimal make-up.
Some things I am happy doing and other things make me cringe a little on the inside. The whole deeper feeling is: "Is this me? Is it possible to be me doing this, or must I then somehow become another, with a perspective overlayed from history or from expectations, but in either case, not my own."
The key to happiness is knowing who and which of these you are.
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