immaturity

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He also keeps using the expression of "clamored" up the stairs (twice now), when I think he means, "clambered" (like an ape).



Really, the thing to do when one is down and out is to laugh at oneself.  I also had similar troubles around his age, crying every Christmas, for reasons that I didn't know why (maladjustment and not quite feeling any nourishing sensation from life).



The key is to access the negative part of the dialectic better -- one's own trauma (I hadn't acknowledged my tremendous losses in being uprooted from Africa and hence I hadn't mourned) and sexual messiness (you have to take risks, if you can find anything attractive or interesting that can lure you in).   Of course women are a little different from men, at least in my own experience, because at that age (22 or so) I wasn't that interested in sex, but more in exploring nature and the environment, which I needed to be a sensual experience at that point.



So I can understand, at least abstractly, what he is going on and on about.  Other point is that I'm from Africa where a strict hierarchy was in place (and one is never at the top) so I would never have had that sense of entitlement to go around killing people.



But certainly one has to grow OUT OF one's immaturity and there are ways to do so.