Sunday 8 February 2015

TUMBULAR 5

Open a wound in your being and the sun will start shining in.  It had been four days now that we had exposed our rotting flesh to the air at Chikurubi.  What did we have to show for it?  We were half way between the prisoner stage and the infantry stage.  The prisoner stage involved training for survival, whereas the infantry stage also involved training for survival, but you were allowed to keep more of your dignity.  At least it was an elevation.  You got to wear the unifrom and stand proud.  That was  a step up from skulking in the shadows.  That is what it meant to be something recognisable, standing in its own right.

You may be an idiot but at least you know what you are here for.  In the prisoner stage nobody ever knew anything about themselves.  They relied on the jailors to tell them when it was time to feed and how they ought to be addressed.  Infantry meant you moved around in formation.  It was kind of a robotics.  But you got a standard pay and the food wasn't too bad.  At least you got water. I had place my bath towel over my head to stop the dehydration.

My dream had always been to reach for the stars, whilst infantry meant crawling on your belly.  We had clung desperately to the Bible in the prisoner stage, so much so that the cover had come unstuck from the main spine and the pages, which had begun to warp, were now disintegrating.  "Beware the snake of Satan!" we'd been warned.  "It's he who moves around with slender hips pressed to the earth, on his belly."  That's what had prevented many of us from joining the infantry whilst we had the chance.  The step up out seemed sinister somehow.   A part of us would still have preferred to stay in shadows.

In the infantry stage there was sugar and more sugar.  We felt the rush every time in the mess hall.  They had run out of stuff to feed us so now all that was left was raw sugar, stolen from the local sugar refinery.  At least for a few days we had to make do with that until someone smuggled in a killed ox and the famine was over.

I wanted reassurance that we would make it out of here.  We were the new recruits, no doubt being knocked into shape to fight wars involving mineral wealth.  I'd have preferred to be fighting Boko Haram.

Above all, I just wanted to get above all, and not be down here anymore, slithering and sliding along for the ride.  The pay wasn't really that much, to be honest.  By contrast, way up in the sky, its inky jetness, I saw some hope.






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Cultural barriers to objectivity