Letting it be

Who Makes Them This Way? | Clarissa's Blog

I can't speak for other people, but in the past I had to try to adapt to a society that made no sense to me, but was very demanding. The society was highly parental. People felt the need to reprimand me or to morally scold me in a number of ways, whilst demanding that I change. So, I got into a mode of, "Well if you're going to play the scolding parents, you're going to play the nurturing ones too. So, here is what I need....."

I really think, and I have said so before, that Western culture, especially industrialized Anglo-Saxon culture has a huge *moral* hangup about "colonialism". It's not even a particularly historical hangup, which would be useful. Instead, it's history denied and dissolved into morality. So, berating me was a way for a lot of people to feel better about their 'identities'.

It's been an ongoing problem, but it's not to do with me. I can move from Occidental to Oriental contexts, and the issue disappears without a trace. Go back to the Occident and there it is again.

Anyway, I decided to charge people for the liberties they took in morally scolding me. I would return to them and say, "So what are you going to give me now that I'm your 'child' and you have decided to take on the role of moral scold?"

I think I have been quite an unpleasant person -- but people have to learn how to let others simply be.