Jennifer Armstrong 1 second ago
You just reminded me that I had dreams last night about buying particular kinds of horses. I guess the difference between my situation and yours may be that I was simply destroyed much more than even what you have experienced (which is also substantial), so I had to impose a very strict regime of discipline over myself, whereby I would not allow myself to respond to any lure or enticement whatsoever -- nothing that could compromise my recovery (there really was a danger I would not recover at all if I did not put every little bit of energy I had into a bank and try to save it). Every time some potential narc. urged me, "Just talk to me and we can make everything right together," I resisted the enticement, because I knew that I had no margin for error. The pain I had experienced already acted as a reminder that I could simply not allow myself to be drawn back into the fray. I recalled what I had already endured and asked myself if I would like to risk that again, and I said no.
Also I gained a lot of moral support from reading Friedrich Nietzsche. I suspect he had some good insights into narcissism as it seems his mother and sister were narcissists. He stated in effect that learning was noble and that it wasn't really possible without very deep suffering. He had very deep insights into power relationships and what was authentic (psychogically honorable) or dishonable about them.
https://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/nietzsche/1886/beyond-good-evil/ch09.htm
Also I gained a lot of moral support from reading Friedrich Nietzsche. I suspect he had some good insights into narcissism as it seems his mother and sister were narcissists. He stated in effect that learning was noble and that it wasn't really possible without very deep suffering. He had very deep insights into power relationships and what was authentic (psychogically honorable) or dishonable about them.
https://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/nietzsche/1886/beyond-good-evil/ch09.htm
