Vlog CCCLXXIV

Jennifer Armstrong 1 second ago

The ideology of "resistance" is of Judeo-Christian origin and is the secularisation of the very religious notion of original sin. I had someone using this method make an assertion that he had determined I was "sensitive", but he himself was extremely resistant to knowing that my focus on that issue had to do with the mental abuse I had been experiencing, whereby people kept insisting I change my emotional calibration to adapt to their sense of what was normal. This was the abuse. A lot of it had to do with gender. If I said my father was trying to annihilate me, they said I was too sensitive and should tone down my emotional volume, but if I turned it down they said I was emotionally out of touch and really pretending to be something I am not, so I should turn it up again. This kept going on and on and on, until I finally tired of the game, and now have stopped responding to it. But while I was still trying to figure it out (not realizing it was always a game), I spoke a lot about sensitivity and my problems with it.
According to the Judeo-Christian notion of "resistance", the simple explanation had to be that I must have had huge resistance to accepting that I was a sensitive person.
But what this resistance notion really was, was just an extension of this game of changing the goal posts on me (yet again).
It didn't answer any of my questions about cultural adjustment, or how narcissistic abuse occurs, or how to get out of being whipped around this way and that by having to play the stupid game. The real answer I needed was "Stop trying to adapt. You are just being manipulated."