Saturday, 6 June 2015
I had similar circumstances where I gradually walked into a trap over a decade or two. It's not easy to know which parties set the trap, but the politics of it was much bigger than me. Initially people kept teaching me to be more and more sensitive to the needs of everybody around me (except for my own needs). I gradually learned to refine my expectations so much to the attunement of others' allegedly very high level of sensitivity about identity and social propriety that I felt I was walking on egg shells. When I started to communicate my awareness of this very, very high level of sensitivity I was supposed to make adjustments for, the opportunists (my political enemies) began to turn it around on me, making out that if I complained about the high level demands to attend to others' states of emotional tenderness that I must be the one who was overly sensitive to criticism myself. In other words the message was, "The more you tried to cater to us and our hypercritical demands of you, the more you showed yourself to be overly concerned with what others think of you -- so now we have all the evidence we need to make you look like an appalling fool." This is exactly what happened on quite a broad political scale, and now I know.
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