This is an excellent and detailed analysis.
I think the need to "win" occurs at the level of the primeval self, or what might be termed "lizard brain". You can imagine lizards posturing on the ground, raising and lowering their heads in an intimidating gesture. The lizard that is intimidated first runs away leaving the other lizard as "the winner".
I think it is very important to understand this game, as it is played not just by narcissists (who obsess about this game at the expense of everything else), but is also a part of how we engage in politics and do our social organisation.
Also, there is a certain period in our developmental stage where we all need to gain a certain amount of "wins" to feel good about ourselves. If we do not do so, then even though we may employ the rational mind as much as possible to convince ourselves that we are still good and worthwhile people, our primeval mind will veto this conclusion. It's very painful but we can be undermined at the point where we are establishing our credibility in the world, and this undermining, when it occurs, is primarily in our own eyes.
I consider that we really do need to understand how this works, so that we can take control over ourselves, so that for instance if I feel I am failing in one area of life I can give myself some "wins" in another area. That is why I challenged myself to do skydiving, because it was a way to give myself "wins". One's own observing mind is impressed by this, and is reinforced at a very foundational level.
By contrast, if we do not understand how our primeval minds work, which is on the basis of getting and consolidating a certain basic number of "wins", we can become more easily victimized by narcissists, because their power seems to us much greater than our own.
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