For me it is not the hardest act. It is impossible. If my brain attempts integration, then I become psychotic due to the overwhelming amount of emotional pain.
You have no idea how much torment and red wine I downed in order to achieve this integration. My one vulnerability is if an authority orders me to emote, because then indeed I have something ressembling madness, or at least it produces an extreme division in my mind, since being in the presence of authority means I have to deny emotion.
Society is generally thought off as a group of people living together in an organized community with shared laws, rules, traditions, etc. There is no such thing like that on the national level in our countries. I don't belong to any group and I don't identify with a (sub)culture. This situation is only possible when there is no society out there reaching for you. If I stop seeing people, then I won't see people ever again.
Self-reconciliation: Is this the hardest act of all?
