i dealt with some similar things as you mention towards the end. I did know what was meant and said though it took me awhile to realize that the reason 3rd person naritives and stories were used to convey messages was so that the person conveying the message did not get in trouble for making threats or being inappropriate. I had one boss keep telling me how he got a haircut. It may have been because he couldn't keep up with me, and another was for being chewed out by his wife about the crappy place he worked. He was also a victim though which is kind of funny. Mad at me for doing too good or not letting their negative shit in, and his wife upset at him for whatever reason she wanted, and for him to deal with this.
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A lot of people seem to represent themselves as victims, and then if you really DO NOT understand the culture of victimhood because you came from a very proud culture that taught it was deeply shameful to be victimized in any way, you end up looking like some kind of ogre or perpetrator when you simply ask what others were implying about you.
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