- Jennifer Frances Armstrong I was never taught I was crazy or unstable or dramatic and I never came to believe that either -- that is why Western misogyny took me by such surprise.
- LeeAnne Fourcrows Hensley I actually had to learn to see it as an adult. I was so accustomed to it, it became ingrained in my own mentality. I always felt something was wrong, but I always perceived it to be me, in my youth. Later I gained some education on misogyny, how it works, and where it comes from. It was like having my eyes peeled open after a lifetime of believing I was blind. Now that I have learned to recognize it, it's everywhere. And I can tell that most people here in the U.S. can't see it. They participate in it, they do it, but they can't see it.
- LeeAnne Fourcrows Hensley Can you believe how strange that is? To be surrounded by misogyny, have horribly misogynist parents, even your grandparents are brainwashed to believe that men are superior to women, and every time someone makes you feel uncomfortable with some sexist garbage they've said or demonstrated, to immediately wonder what's wrong with you for being so unsettled? It's madness.
- Jennifer Frances Armstrong Yeah, I hear what you are saying. My early culture wasn't systematized, so I wasn't brought up with this madness to nearly the same degree as the rest of the world. I learned, though, that when I wrote my memoir, even self-proclaimed feminists were not able to grasp it -- its implicit critique of misogyny. So feminists are generally not more advanced than their misogynist counterparts.
- LeeAnne Fourcrows Hensley I think it's definitely a process to get out from under it. One can't simply be satisfied with their initial discovery of misogyny, then stop working through the way it effects/infects everything. It's more complex than a lot of people, even feminists, realize.
- Jennifer Frances Armstrong Yes, yes. Many people are ideological feminists, but they readily attribute blame to victims of misogyny, whilst essentialising the characters of those who get victimized. Consider, for instance, how Amanda Todd's inherent nobility in not wanting to cause mental pain to those who harmed her, led to her increased suffering. Yet, this nobility will not be seen for what it was, rather people will apply a patriarchal discourse to her victimhood.
- LeeAnne Fourcrows Hensley Victim blaming, and Rape Culture in general are extremely crucial points to analyze for anyone who really wants to dismantle patriarchy and put an end to misogyny. There are a lot of people out there who don't seem to realize that feminism isn't just about political issues, it's about every aspect of society, and how it's completely different for women than it is for men. The double-standard. Sure, women can vote now, but that doesn't even begin to address how a woman is treated when she goes to other women for support after being brutalized, and they call her a slut, or how a woman or girl who was mistreated is told by those who claim to support her how she should have to react. When a woman seeks strength, the best she is offered is to put on the Victim Hat, and be told how to properly wear it. (Which is more of a "kick me" sign than any sort of support.)
- Jennifer Frances Armstrong People don't allow that women can be noble in their characters. That is what is not allowed for. You can be anything but that. Hence, when women write about hard experiences, these are immediately given an interpretation of weakness. Noble female characters do exist, but they are not recognized as existing.
- LeeAnne Fourcrows Hensley This is so painfully true. We're not characterized to be capable of nobility. I've heard, "Oh, you're just so proud. I don't know why you're so proud, you're not helping yourself." And it disgusts me. Did anyone ever stop and think that we may not be doing something to serve ourselves, but rather, to uphold certain values that we have, and a code of how we deem it fit to treat other people? No, they don't stop and think about that, because women don't do that. Our feeble minds can't come up with such complex ideas. We're too worried about what we're going to wear tomorrow.
- LeeAnne Fourcrows Hensley I'm not sure why anyone thinks we need to be characterized. From what I've observed, we're pretty good at building our own character all by ourselves.
- Jennifer Frances Armstrong Sometimes we do have the strength of character to make the best of a very difficult situation, but this is viewed as us creating the negative situation all by ourselves and being oblivious to it. It seems there isn't a level of emotional reaction or stoicism that is acceptable. No grade of reaction or non-reaction is acceptable, because anything can be made to implicate us.
- LeeAnne Fourcrows Hensley Boys were doing a lot of harm to the girls in my high school, and the girls were socialized to cower and not learn to defend themselves. But having grown up in an extremely violent setting, I had to learn to fight to survive, so it was instinctive to me to eliminate threats. So I kicked the asses of the boys who were physically tormenting my girl friends, if I'd been a boy, it would have been "honorable". But since I was a girl, I was given all sorts of labels belonging to the socially undesirable. Nobody understood it. They didn't even try. Not even the girls I was trying to defend could really see what it was all about.
- Jennifer Frances Armstrong Yes, that has happened to me, too.
- LeeAnne Fourcrows Hensley They assumed I was trying to "prove something". As if I had set out to make them see me a specific way by picking a lot of fights. Nevermind the very clear reality that these boys were doing everything from hitting and shoving girls to sexually assaulting them. Some decided I'm gay, because only a girl who wants to be a boy would do a dirty thing like fist-fighting, and others thought I had some tough-guy complex.
- Jennifer Frances Armstrong Right. They think you're trying to promote yourself as a new brand of soap powder, rather than dealing with reality.
- LeeAnne Fourcrows Hensley That's a great way of looking at it.
- LeeAnne Fourcrows Hensley I must have been awfully powerful if I was able to convince a boy to force himself on a girl so that I could kick his ass all the way home after school.
Sunday 14 October 2012
Feminism's new brand of soap!
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