| Clarissa's Blog
People have tried to change me ever since the end of the Second Chimurenga, in 1980. Both political leftists and political rightists have tried it for reasons best known to them.
This eventually caused me layer upon layer of traumatisation.
Once you get pulled into the power of evil people, the effect of their force field is hard to resist. Other people won't let you get away. I’ve even had people imply that the fact because I was in such a hard place that I tried to accommodate all the demands for change, this meant I had an unstable sense of self. If you try to give people what they're forcing you to give, it means you had something wrong with you from the start. The ideology of dominance and submission typically reverses cause and effect. "If you comply with me, I will prove you are evil!" is the ideology of evil and self-hating people.
The good news is, I’ve finally found a way through — by giving up.
You know, if an assailant has you in a bear hug, you can find that difficult to resist, but if he grabs you when you have a lot of air in your chest, you can suddenly let all the air out and make your body go limp. You can then drop to the ground and escape.
This is what I’ve finally managed to do on a psychological level, because I had learned over the years that the more I resisted, the worse it would become for me.
People have tried to change me ever since the end of the Second Chimurenga, in 1980. Both political leftists and political rightists have tried it for reasons best known to them.
This eventually caused me layer upon layer of traumatisation.
Once you get pulled into the power of evil people, the effect of their force field is hard to resist. Other people won't let you get away. I’ve even had people imply that the fact because I was in such a hard place that I tried to accommodate all the demands for change, this meant I had an unstable sense of self. If you try to give people what they're forcing you to give, it means you had something wrong with you from the start. The ideology of dominance and submission typically reverses cause and effect. "If you comply with me, I will prove you are evil!" is the ideology of evil and self-hating people.
The good news is, I’ve finally found a way through — by giving up.
You know, if an assailant has you in a bear hug, you can find that difficult to resist, but if he grabs you when you have a lot of air in your chest, you can suddenly let all the air out and make your body go limp. You can then drop to the ground and escape.
This is what I’ve finally managed to do on a psychological level, because I had learned over the years that the more I resisted, the worse it would become for me.
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