I've just read an article on Huffington Post regarding thick and thin skins. The writer was, perhaps inevitably, of a religious persuasion. He counseled prayer and dependency on "God" as a solution to stressors.
I'm inclined to think that those who differentiate between having thick or thin skins oversimplify a great deal.
For instance, there are people who do not know their own stories, and who thereby become "thin-skinned". Their histories have been erased and they are desperate to learn their story from anyone who will give them a hint.
A fifteen-year-old Canadian girl recently committed suicide after being bullied at school and online. It seems her story was hijacked to make her look like something she was not. Since the story of the bullies became psychologically bigger than her original internal narrative, she committed suicide. She had learned from her bullies that she was a bad person. Her understanding of what sort of person she actually was had not developed sufficiently for her narrative to be the dominant one.
Being thin-skinned is a necessary part of the process we all experience in order to learn about ourselves from others. Those who are capable of the greatest learning might be the thinnest skinned of all. If their educators are ethical, educated and wise, these people can learn magnificently. If not, they will be cast onto their own resources, which may be few. They may be overwhelmed by the narratives of others, which may be false or misleading.
Being able to know how much of what others say ought to be taken to heart depends on already having a good level of knowledge about oneself. One is not born with that knowledge, and many of us are still growing and learning. We are, at least, not stagnant.
I'm inclined to think that those who differentiate between having thick or thin skins oversimplify a great deal.
For instance, there are people who do not know their own stories, and who thereby become "thin-skinned". Their histories have been erased and they are desperate to learn their story from anyone who will give them a hint.
A fifteen-year-old Canadian girl recently committed suicide after being bullied at school and online. It seems her story was hijacked to make her look like something she was not. Since the story of the bullies became psychologically bigger than her original internal narrative, she committed suicide. She had learned from her bullies that she was a bad person. Her understanding of what sort of person she actually was had not developed sufficiently for her narrative to be the dominant one.
Being thin-skinned is a necessary part of the process we all experience in order to learn about ourselves from others. Those who are capable of the greatest learning might be the thinnest skinned of all. If their educators are ethical, educated and wise, these people can learn magnificently. If not, they will be cast onto their own resources, which may be few. They may be overwhelmed by the narratives of others, which may be false or misleading.
Being able to know how much of what others say ought to be taken to heart depends on already having a good level of knowledge about oneself. One is not born with that knowledge, and many of us are still growing and learning. We are, at least, not stagnant.
1 comment:
I saw that one, too. I the metaphor can be useful at times, but it's really just a metaphor which perhaps doesn't point to any enduring underlying reality.
We are all "thick skinned" when the circumstances are in our favor, that is when we have had a few wins and/or people are on our side. This TV anchor obviously has a successful career and a husband who goes in to fight for her (if I remember correctly). So, why shouldn't she draw from those very real social and political reserves in order to be "thick skinned"? It's not that it doesn't also take courage and character, but one should not underestimate the power of having good experiences on one's side.
Post a Comment