That’s Just How I Am! | Clarissa's Blog
I was never particularly self-conscious, although I went through a stage where I was relatively so, because somehow I had internalized an idea that I had to convince others of my propensities in order to succeed. My attempt to enter that way of thinking that I identified as “the new, modern culture”, didn’t work out. To be perfect naturally was never something I could conceptualize.
It required two steps. The first was to try to conjure up the difference between perfection and imperfection according to an alien culture’s ideology. The second was to try to wedge myself in to the definition of one side of these aspects, whilst not stepping into the other side.
It proved to be too much hard work. I couldn’t unmake myself and remake myself into the mold of somebody who thought this way, to start with.
My thinking is conditioned by African experiences and maybe this makes me imperfect, but people seem to like me in many spheres. In others they have a strong adverse reaction. Such is life.
Yesterday I did wrestling practice with three young men, and seemed to tire them out, although I couldn’t get any of them to tap out (admit defeat). They got me numerous times, including around the throat, which was unpleasant.
I was never particularly self-conscious, although I went through a stage where I was relatively so, because somehow I had internalized an idea that I had to convince others of my propensities in order to succeed. My attempt to enter that way of thinking that I identified as “the new, modern culture”, didn’t work out. To be perfect naturally was never something I could conceptualize.
It required two steps. The first was to try to conjure up the difference between perfection and imperfection according to an alien culture’s ideology. The second was to try to wedge myself in to the definition of one side of these aspects, whilst not stepping into the other side.
It proved to be too much hard work. I couldn’t unmake myself and remake myself into the mold of somebody who thought this way, to start with.
My thinking is conditioned by African experiences and maybe this makes me imperfect, but people seem to like me in many spheres. In others they have a strong adverse reaction. Such is life.
Yesterday I did wrestling practice with three young men, and seemed to tire them out, although I couldn’t get any of them to tap out (admit defeat). They got me numerous times, including around the throat, which was unpleasant.
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