So long and good bye to the people who mistreated you.
Persevering through adversity is certainly not the road for the weak or someone who hasn't learned the lessons of the rough road of a hard-won life.
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+Tony Hoeflinger Thank you. I have indeed become much stronger and the experience propelled me to go on and do a PhD.
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Well, I'd rather go under the radar than be a conformist. Overcompensating to fit in doesn't work as you soon found out. As a matter of fact, the harder you try, the more they give you the kick. Narcissistic parents instill in their children feelings of low self-worth, making you believe you have to "prove" your worth to curry favor with those in power. It's no wonder your health broke down because of the mental and physical taxation of having to redeem yourself for a "disgrace" that was beyond your control. We are born into prepotent political circumstances, but narcissists want us to feel responsible for everything. Your parents were under pressure too due to the migrant situation; I'm not implying that they were inevitably narcissists. Whatever the motivation, kids don't benefit from that kind of stress.
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+Breakthrough Moment Yes you have a lot of insight. But you underweigh the importance ot cultural differences. Rhodesian society was extremely right-wing and so the term "overcompensating" is not the correct one, given that everybody was similarly inclined to be the same. Authoritarian isn't quite the right word either. In fact the expectation that one would be entering into feudal relations with a superior power and would thereby be protected is closer to the mark. If one has the anticipation that power relations can be basically benevolent and true so long as one submits, one will attempt to conform. It's only if this is not actually true about power relations, because society has adopted a different model now, that this LOOKS like overcompensation to outsiders.
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