Vlog CCCXXXVI

Jennifer Armstrong 1 second ago

She hits countless nails on the head. I cannot say how many times I tried to get some help of my own (way back in the past), and either directly or indirectly the co-dependent label was affixed to me. Actually, it was very difficult to get to know myself whilst being constantly targeted by unstable people. I couldn't, for instance, figure out what degree of sensitivity to other people was required from me in the new culture I'd migrated into, because on the one side people would basically say, "suck it up, you are just being weak," when I talked about my problem in the home and workplace, and on the other side if I tried to develop my toughness as though this were the new cultural standard of behavior we all ought to adapt to, I found that people considered me overbearing and not sensitive enough. For reasons of correct emotional calibration, I really had to get more accurate feedback from people about my concerns, but I kept getting the wrong sort of feedback, the kind that would force me into another mode of false calibration with the outside world.
In the end I realized that contemporary society just does not want to address the kinds of issues addressed in the video. i am better off cutting my losses with it and just going back to my previous cultural programming, and let people take or leave it.
I feel that this extreme solution may have limited my options in a number of ways, but at least it means that others' failure to address key factors of reality is no longer billed to me, since I was losing resilience over time and could no longer foot this expense.