Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project « Clarissa's Blog
How familiar and comfortable were you in your own body? Did beliefs about purity, modesty, abstinence, etc. affect your attitude toward your body? Did those beliefs either reinforce or conflict with the messages you received from society in general?
--- I had no beliefs about my body and therefore was not in conflict with society in general. My body was for horse-riding, for getting me around. It did this pretty well.
How did your parents and/or church respond to your questions (if any)? How did they (and you) understand and react to puberty? –
---I didn't really experience it as such. I didn't ask any questions. The only difference I noticed was that when I started sprouting breasts, my father began addressing me as if I were the embodiment of feeling and emotionality all of sudden, whereas previous to this, he treated me as if I were a person who could make reports about anything in an intelligible way.
What kind of sex education did you receive, if any? How did your parents/church talk about sex and sex education? How did your parents model their beliefs about sexuality?
---My mother gave me a book about biological reproduction when I was about 10 or 11. It seemed kind of horrific. I read it with my friend in a dark wardrobe. It was like looking at a forensic scene, full of dead bodies.
How was your approach to the Bible shaped by beliefs about sexuality, and vice versa? (Did you, for instance, read Song of Solomon?) What Bible verses were most important to your understanding of sexuality? –
---I had no idea that the Bible had any relationship to sexuality, nor did I have any idea of what sexuality comprised.
What books or other materials did your parents and/or church use to teach you about sexuality? Were you given books about marriage and courtship, for instance? –
---No.
When and how did you first hear about LGBTQ identities? How old were you, and how much did you understand? How did the messages you heard make you feel? –
---I didn't hear about any sorts of "identities". I was told it was very bad to give birth to a baby and flush it down the toilet, though. This kind of action was reprehensible.
Romantic Relationships (if applicable)
What were you taught to expect in a romantic relationship and/or marriage? How have you found reality to match or differ from your expectations?
---Nothing, and I had no expectations of being part of a couple. Now that I am married, I remain fully independent mentally.
Did your beliefs about sexuality change after marriage or beginning a relationship? If applicable, did break-ups and/or divorce impact your beliefs? –
---I had no beliefs.
How did your fundamentalist upbringing or training impact your own sexual identity and/or experience of sex?
---I had begun reading Nietzsche by my late-twenties, and saw sexuality as an expression of atheistic transgression.
How do you think about relationships and sexuality now, and what prompted changes (if any) in your views?
---I think relationships and sexuality are very easy.
When did you start to question what you were told about sexuality? What prompted you to rethink your beliefs? –
---I was never directly told anything about sexuality. Even in high school, nobody mentioned a word. What prompted me to rethink my attitudes was that I became quite sickly and allergic. Reading Nietzsche in my mid to late twenties made me aware that I had a lot of unspoken aggression all of which I was directing inwardly against myself. After a number of years, it became apparent that raw aggression and sexuality were two aspects of my identity I had been repressing – much to the detriment of my physical health.
How did your friends, family or church respond to your questioning? Did you talk to people or keep your doubts secret?
---My father had begun to disown me when I sprouted breasts. This also coincided with the destruction of our way of life in Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe). The colonial regime broke down and my father's spirit effectively broke. After that, there was absolutely nothing I could do right.
What media (if any) did you read or watch that made you rethink your assumptions about sexuality?
---I watched Grease when I was growing up. This movie filled me with nostalgia for something, but once again gave me the impression of sexuality as a form of forensic science.
Life Outside the Bubble
What strategies have you found for coping with friends or family who believe in purity, modesty, “traditional marriage,” etc.? –
---I don't encounter such people, or if I do, I don't really register what I have encountered.
Where have you found support? (New friends online, at school, at work, etc.?) –
--Sports bras offer great "support". What kind of "support" did you mean?
What, if anything, would you tell your younger self about sexuality and life outside fundamentalism?
---Transgression is necessary and healthy. Avoid it at your peril.
How familiar and comfortable were you in your own body? Did beliefs about purity, modesty, abstinence, etc. affect your attitude toward your body? Did those beliefs either reinforce or conflict with the messages you received from society in general?
--- I had no beliefs about my body and therefore was not in conflict with society in general. My body was for horse-riding, for getting me around. It did this pretty well.
How did your parents and/or church respond to your questions (if any)? How did they (and you) understand and react to puberty? –
---I didn't really experience it as such. I didn't ask any questions. The only difference I noticed was that when I started sprouting breasts, my father began addressing me as if I were the embodiment of feeling and emotionality all of sudden, whereas previous to this, he treated me as if I were a person who could make reports about anything in an intelligible way.
What kind of sex education did you receive, if any? How did your parents/church talk about sex and sex education? How did your parents model their beliefs about sexuality?
---My mother gave me a book about biological reproduction when I was about 10 or 11. It seemed kind of horrific. I read it with my friend in a dark wardrobe. It was like looking at a forensic scene, full of dead bodies.
How was your approach to the Bible shaped by beliefs about sexuality, and vice versa? (Did you, for instance, read Song of Solomon?) What Bible verses were most important to your understanding of sexuality? –
---I had no idea that the Bible had any relationship to sexuality, nor did I have any idea of what sexuality comprised.
What books or other materials did your parents and/or church use to teach you about sexuality? Were you given books about marriage and courtship, for instance? –
---No.
When and how did you first hear about LGBTQ identities? How old were you, and how much did you understand? How did the messages you heard make you feel? –
---I didn't hear about any sorts of "identities". I was told it was very bad to give birth to a baby and flush it down the toilet, though. This kind of action was reprehensible.
Romantic Relationships (if applicable)
What were you taught to expect in a romantic relationship and/or marriage? How have you found reality to match or differ from your expectations?
---Nothing, and I had no expectations of being part of a couple. Now that I am married, I remain fully independent mentally.
Did your beliefs about sexuality change after marriage or beginning a relationship? If applicable, did break-ups and/or divorce impact your beliefs? –
---I had no beliefs.
How did your fundamentalist upbringing or training impact your own sexual identity and/or experience of sex?
---I had begun reading Nietzsche by my late-twenties, and saw sexuality as an expression of atheistic transgression.
How do you think about relationships and sexuality now, and what prompted changes (if any) in your views?
---I think relationships and sexuality are very easy.
When did you start to question what you were told about sexuality? What prompted you to rethink your beliefs? –
---I was never directly told anything about sexuality. Even in high school, nobody mentioned a word. What prompted me to rethink my attitudes was that I became quite sickly and allergic. Reading Nietzsche in my mid to late twenties made me aware that I had a lot of unspoken aggression all of which I was directing inwardly against myself. After a number of years, it became apparent that raw aggression and sexuality were two aspects of my identity I had been repressing – much to the detriment of my physical health.
How did your friends, family or church respond to your questioning? Did you talk to people or keep your doubts secret?
---My father had begun to disown me when I sprouted breasts. This also coincided with the destruction of our way of life in Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe). The colonial regime broke down and my father's spirit effectively broke. After that, there was absolutely nothing I could do right.
What media (if any) did you read or watch that made you rethink your assumptions about sexuality?
---I watched Grease when I was growing up. This movie filled me with nostalgia for something, but once again gave me the impression of sexuality as a form of forensic science.
Life Outside the Bubble
What strategies have you found for coping with friends or family who believe in purity, modesty, “traditional marriage,” etc.? –
---I don't encounter such people, or if I do, I don't really register what I have encountered.
Where have you found support? (New friends online, at school, at work, etc.?) –
--Sports bras offer great "support". What kind of "support" did you mean?
What, if anything, would you tell your younger self about sexuality and life outside fundamentalism?
---Transgression is necessary and healthy. Avoid it at your peril.
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