An inadequate approach is for women is to try to appease the one who seeks control over her. This approach is necessitated by the feminine character structure.
That character structure is formed implicitly from the fear of death, a primeval fear in all of us, male or female. In traditional societies, one learns to conform to their traditional gender roles, from a fear of being outcast. Being outcast from the community used to mean literal death. Traditionally, women developed this character structure that seeks to appease. They have appeased a social system that implicitly threatened them and are now operating according to their character of appeasement, which expresses itself in a mode of manipulative niceness. At a time they can no longer remember, they resorted to making their peace with the patriarchal system to avoid death. The character structure they had to develop makes them more susceptible to real injury and death, but avoidant of the recognition of this violence, since deep down they believe they have made their peace.
The psychological strategy of appeasing a bully doesn't work.
They will have to revise their primeval contract with the community that gives them reason to suppose they won't be harmed if they develop an appeasing character. They will have to face death more realistically this time, to break down their existing, traditional character and develop very different reflexive strategies.
That character structure is formed implicitly from the fear of death, a primeval fear in all of us, male or female. In traditional societies, one learns to conform to their traditional gender roles, from a fear of being outcast. Being outcast from the community used to mean literal death. Traditionally, women developed this character structure that seeks to appease. They have appeased a social system that implicitly threatened them and are now operating according to their character of appeasement, which expresses itself in a mode of manipulative niceness. At a time they can no longer remember, they resorted to making their peace with the patriarchal system to avoid death. The character structure they had to develop makes them more susceptible to real injury and death, but avoidant of the recognition of this violence, since deep down they believe they have made their peace.
The psychological strategy of appeasing a bully doesn't work.
They will have to revise their primeval contract with the community that gives them reason to suppose they won't be harmed if they develop an appeasing character. They will have to face death more realistically this time, to break down their existing, traditional character and develop very different reflexive strategies.
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