Coming from abusive parents , I had to keep my emotions well controlled as the consequences could be serious. I became very introverted.During my formative adolescent years I started to suspect that I might be on the autistic spectrum because I was highly sensitive but very withdrawn. I now know that it was simply the consequence of an adaptation. As I became more autonomous and felt more secure in my freedom, I became more emotionally expressive but I am more so within a private or intimate relationship than in a general social sense .This gives people the first impression that I'm cold or distant. Online, people often think I'm male, which I find very humorous.
Of course it also illustrates how much people are unconsciously beholden to their gender biases.
Sadly, people are much more respectful and deferring to those they think are male. These experiences showcase to me very personally, the ongoing irrational gender discrimination.
P.S. - Your fears remind me of Camus" central figure in The Stranger, who is judged on his lack of "appropriate" emotional reactions. Definitely a cautionary tale about social perceptions.I worry about these kind of biases surfacing in the NA community.
+S. F.
Thank you for your reflective comments! They make a lot of sense, especially the gender biases.
In my case it is simply that I am not well-adapted to Western society, and I do not think that what underlies this can be equated with a determinant of sensitivity or insensitivity. i went down that track of investigation for a long time, and I did not come up with a variable that by adding or subtracting from I would be able to pursue adaptability.
In effect, then, it seems I am well-adapted to a war environment, but not to peace, or to civility. And I have also found that because of the gender biases, people assume that my emotional detachment is a mask and try to pull it off my face (pull my face off). This puts me on a war footing with them, which is neither good or bad in itself, but sometimes very good for me to align my emotions with my true self and put my strengths into action.
Of course it also illustrates how much people are unconsciously beholden to their gender biases.
Sadly, people are much more respectful and deferring to those they think are male. These experiences showcase to me very personally, the ongoing irrational gender discrimination.
P.S. - Your fears remind me of Camus" central figure in The Stranger, who is judged on his lack of "appropriate" emotional reactions. Definitely a cautionary tale about social perceptions.I worry about these kind of biases surfacing in the NA community.
Thank you for your reflective comments! They make a lot of sense, especially the gender biases.
In my case it is simply that I am not well-adapted to Western society, and I do not think that what underlies this can be equated with a determinant of sensitivity or insensitivity. i went down that track of investigation for a long time, and I did not come up with a variable that by adding or subtracting from I would be able to pursue adaptability.
In effect, then, it seems I am well-adapted to a war environment, but not to peace, or to civility. And I have also found that because of the gender biases, people assume that my emotional detachment is a mask and try to pull it off my face (pull my face off). This puts me on a war footing with them, which is neither good or bad in itself, but sometimes very good for me to align my emotions with my true self and put my strengths into action.