Vlog 89 Healing

Jennifer Armstrong

10:10 AM

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+Narcissist Free -almost When I had CFS it was like living on a razor's edge. Every negative thought seemed to detract from the power of my immune system to recover. I had to become extremely hyper self-aware to try to recapture every small resource of positive energy, whilst reducing the impact of negative energy. That is a terrible way to live, really scary. The way I came out of that was by emotional and cognitive re-training. Actually the philosopher Nietzsche helped me tremendously. I now think that I had been so bashed by my father to conform to a Christian, feminine mode, that my real emotions couldn't come to the surface and were eating me away from within. To feel or to be able to express negativity was impossible for me. Every time I sensed the slightest negative sensation coming to the surface, I would attack myself -- hence the auto-immune disease.
Nietzsche was very, very instrumental in training me back to health, and away from this hyper-Christianised self-censoring mindset.
By contrast with this sort of life and death battle, the menopause is not good at all, I feel, but it is also not at all bad by any means. I can actually enjoy the movement toward greater emotional authenticity and integration with myself.

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