When listening to you here, as well as in previous videos, I feel outrage at your having been made so cruelly unlucky with matters about which luck ought to have no place. I fell in with a therapist who made the difficult transformative journey from his two dimensional paper doll world into the muck and blood of historical reality from which I refused to budge. My therapy was rooted within full acknowledgment of my historical context. I received what you were denied, what was denied to you as even existing. That is an outrage, and I'm sorry for the additional injury that was done to you. The therapy you were assaulted with was most certainly malevolent, and it is an astonishment that you have held together throughout and despite all. I'm very glad you're here.
Thank you very much for your kindness. Actually, in terms of "good" and ""evil" players in history, things were weighted against me as well. If you look at how meaning is taught in the humanities, especially via the medium of postmodernism, just about everyone is a legitimate historical victim except for evil "colonialists". Guess which category I fit into?
Other issues preventing me from getting therapy of any useful, non-destructive, non-malicious sort were
1. That I was superficially adapted to Western culture, so I did not -- superficially -- seem "foreign", even though I was
2. Because I had received the kind of education in the humanities described above, I was not telling my own story from my own perspective, but from the point of view of having superficially adapted to Western culture
3. I was also telling my story from the point of view of Christian moral self-condemnation, without realizing that my father had beaten me up so seriously that this was why I had difficulty expressing emotions. (once again telling my narrative from an alien perspective)
4. i have schizoid traits, which means I entertain myself with fantasies whilst admitting I am genuinely disoriented. (This makes people angry?)
5.. I was very, very angry at the way I had been treated already, and my anger was considered illegitimate, quite likely because of my gender (as it is a tradition in psychology to illegitimize a woman's anger), but also because I was not yet able to tell my story from my own perspective, but was relating it from the perspective of others. On the other hand I very much emphasized the historical past to draw it to the attention of the therapist. I tried to emphasize that it was an emotional issue for me, even though the only emotion I was capable of expressing was a kind of intellectual rage.
Other issues preventing me from getting therapy of any useful, non-destructive, non-malicious sort were
1. That I was superficially adapted to Western culture, so I did not -- superficially -- seem "foreign", even though I was
2. Because I had received the kind of education in the humanities described above, I was not telling my own story from my own perspective, but from the point of view of having superficially adapted to Western culture
3. I was also telling my story from the point of view of Christian moral self-condemnation, without realizing that my father had beaten me up so seriously that this was why I had difficulty expressing emotions. (once again telling my narrative from an alien perspective)
4. i have schizoid traits, which means I entertain myself with fantasies whilst admitting I am genuinely disoriented. (This makes people angry?)
5.. I was very, very angry at the way I had been treated already, and my anger was considered illegitimate, quite likely because of my gender (as it is a tradition in psychology to illegitimize a woman's anger), but also because I was not yet able to tell my story from my own perspective, but was relating it from the perspective of others.
On the other hand I very much emphasized the historical past to draw it to the attention of the therapist. I tried to emphasize that it was an emotional issue for me, even though the only emotion I was capable of expressing was a kind of intellectual rage.