Vlog 49 Healing - YouTube: "I think I sort of get it in that if someone is wrapped up in the demands of a very intense superego, they can't experiment or fail or simply enjoy things as they come along. They only have one option which is to embrace perfection or to berate themselves when they fall short. The part that is harder for me to understand is why they need to BE everyone and everything, but I think this has to do with not being able to gain nourishment from everyday organic life. If you can't feel anything, you can't enjoy reality as an immediate event, so you need to get another sort of enjoyment, which is indirect, and you attain it through feeling you have reached perfection, or that you are about to reach it. Such kind of indirect enjoyment is shortlived, dependent on the recognition of others, and therefore fragile and unstable. Not reaching it completely or being able to maintain it fills one with rage. Others who have the capacity for a more direct manner of enjoyment are indicted. "How dare they get it for free, when I have to suffer for every small crumb of enjoyment?""
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